Category: Leadership

Words for the Wise

Grasp the power of words and you find power to shape your future.

Words are rudders. The things you say take you places.

Words are:

1. Keys that unlock understanding.
2. Bridges that connect people. Or they are barriers that divide people.
3. Grinding wheels that sharpen thought. Talking hones ideas.
4. Sparks that ignite imagination. How would you contribute if you had unlimited resources? How can you do that today in a small way?
5. Smoke that conceals. People lie to conceal self-serving motives.
6. Anchors that tether you to established thinking.
7. Weights that make progress unlikely. You hold people down when you talk about things that can’t be done instead of things that can be done.
8. Daggers that wound. You’re wrong if you believe, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.”
9. Landmines that blow up in your face. It’s better to say nothing than to say the wrong thing.
10. Brushfires that grow into wildfires. Stupid words return with misery on a leash.

A word to the wise:

A word of approval from a boss equals a deed of kindness from someone else.

Words of compassion achieve more than expressions of brilliance.

Real genius is the ability to communicate with few words. Any fool can blab ad nauseum.

Wealthy fools sound wiser than poor geniuses. Stay open to wisdom from many sources.

“Be first to confess your faults and you’ll have the last word: this is not self-scorn but heroic boldness.” Baltasar Gracian in, A Pocket Mirror for Heros

“Words can be like X-rays if you use them properly — they’ll go through anything.” — Aldous Huxley, “Brave New World”

The words you say to yourself are the most powerful words you hear.

Today’s challenge: Choose words that shape the future you aspire to create.

What principle(s) in this post can you take with you today?

John David Mann and I invite you to check out our new book, The Vagrant: The Inner Journey of Leadership. I’m offering a bonus for people who preorder.

Amazon

Barnes & Noble

Books-A-Million

IndieBound/Bookshop.org

Like this:

Like Loading…

Continue reading

Change Your Friends Change Your Life

Raise the average of your friends and you raise the average of your life.

Jim Rohn said, “You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” Relationships impact the average of your life.

Change your friends change your life.

Friend up:

Build relationships with experience, status, and resources early in your career.

7 questions to ask when building early-career-relationships:

1. Who is walking through doors you aspire to walk through?
2. Who has experience in arenas you hope to work in?
3. Who are respected experts in your field?
4. Who knows people you would love to know?
5. Who demonstrates expertise you strive to develop?
6. Who earned a reputation for wisdom?
7. Who do your bosses admire?

Lift up:

When you have experience, status, and resources, build relationships with people who don’t have what you have.

Relationships with low-power people enhances your reputation if you are humble.

Questions to ask when friending down:

1. Who do you love to help? Think ‘who’ before ‘how’.
2. How do you love to help? Beware the feeling of superiority that comes with helping.
3. Who are the high aspiration beginners?
4. Who seems humble enough to grow and learn?
5. Who might expand your perspective on the world?
6. Who are the fringe people in your organization that do great work without needing the spotlight?
7. Who seems most energized after you spend time with them?

Look for friends who lift you when you begin. Later, look for people you can lift.

7 ways to connect with high status people:

1. Seek mentors.
2. Ask for advice.
3. Don’t make huge time demands.
4. Help people achieve their goals.
5. Leverage online platforms.
6. Be patient and persistent.
7. Show gratitude.

Tip: Approach all relationships with sincerity and humility. Build genuine connections. Avoid transactional relationships.

Still curious:

Show Me Your Friends and I’ll Show You Your Future

How to Build Relationships that Maximize Performance at Work

‘Friending Bias’

John David Mann and I invite you to check out our new book, The Vagrant: The Inner Journey of Leadership. I’m offering a bonus for people who preorder.

Like this:

Like Loading…

Continue reading

Between Stupidity and Wisdom

There’s a name for people who are too stupid to know they are stupid. The Dunning–Kruger effect. Incompetent people are blind to their own incompetence. People who haven’t led think leading is easy. (David Dunning and Justin Kruger were smart enough to research this in 1999.)

You haven’t learned anything unless you’re a fool. Wisdom is always learning. We live between stupidity and wisdom, always.

Wise practices:

#1. Repeat stupidity.

Don’t correct people when they say stupid things. Repeat it. If they see how dumb they sound, there is hope. Try saying, “Maybe I’m missing something. (Repeat their suggestion.) Ask, “How does what you said solve the issue we’re working to resolve?”

#2. Patience isn’t endorsement.

Believe people can be better. Don’t affirm incompetence. Try saying…

1. You have more in you.
2. That’s good, you can do better.
3. What else might solve this?
4. If you couldn’t do that, what might you try?

#3. Wisdom speaks with confidence not bravado.

Experience never pretends hard things are easy. Braggarts lead people into disaster.

Confidence is quiet. The voice of experience knows we rise after stumbling.

The voice of experience instructs, protects, affirms, challenges, and smacks you in the face (sometimes all at once).

#4. Folly obsesses.

Wisdom sees its own warts and moves on. We waste away cowering to a loud inner critic.

It’s easier to honor others when you accept your own warts.

#5. It’s about you.

Your responses are about you, not others.

Things that delight you reveal you. Things that irritate you expose your values.

Connect your attitudes and behaviors to the quality of your life. Don’t blame others for the misery you carry. People influence the quality of your life; you determine the final outcome.

Which of the above principles seem most applicable to you today?

Still curious:

How Fools and Novices Gain Wisdom

How to Stumble Toward Wisdom and Find Success

Techniques To Develop Wisdom Over Time

John David Mann and I invite you to check out our new book, The Vagrant: The Inner Journey of Leadership. I’m offering a bonus for people who preorder.

Like this:

Like Loading…

Continue reading

4 Bad Habits the Worst Leaders Love

Bad habits come naturally. You work to develop productive patterns.

“Most leaders don’t need to learn what to do. They need to learn what to stop.” Peter Drucker

4 Bad habits the Worst Leaders Love:

#1. Being right.

Everyone is afflicted with the burden of knowledge. You believe you’re right. You’re judging these sentences as if you know more than me. I have surrendered to the obvious truth. You can’t be right when you disagree with me.

If only we knew as much as Aristotle who said, “The only thing I know is that I know nothing.”

Danger: People stop thinking when leaders always know.

Tip: Say, “That’s a great idea. Why don’t you go make that happen?”

Tip: Seek advice from people higherup.

#2. Feathering your nest at the expense of others.

Zeal to advantage yourself at the expense of others fosters self-protective teams.

1. You gain disrespect when you kiss butt to get ahead.
2. Enlightened self-interest suggests that advantaging others is a way to advantage yourself.
3. Don’t sacrifice your future on the altar of serving.

Don’t be a martyr.

Danger: People serve themselves when you persistently serve yourself.

Tip: Think of ways to advantage others every time you feel zeal to advantage yourself.

#3. Pulling away when you don’t get your way.

Never stand aloof when your idea loses. Your career stalls when you can’t help others succeed.

Danger:  The person who pulls away is trying to get their own way.

Tip: Row hard for other people’s projects. Pour into others before asking them to pour into you.

#4. Intimidating people into compliance.

Compliance only works when you’re in the room.

Boldness enables high performance. People never bring their best when they tip-toe around intimidating bosses.

Danger: Intimidation makes people timid.

Tip: Respect and recognition elevate boldness.

What bad habits can you add to this list?

Still curious:

The Top Ten Toxic Behaviors of Lousy Leaders

Lust for Skittles and Other Bad Habits

14 bad habits leaders can pass on to their teams – The Business Journals

Things people are saying about The Vagrant: The Inner Journey of Leadership.

John David Mann and I invite you to check out our new book, The Vagrant: The Inner Journey of Leadership.

Like this:

Like Loading…

Continue reading

Grow and Give: Discovering the Path Forward

Purpose in life is an expression of three words, grow and give*. Being stuck happens when you stop growing and giving.

You learn to grow and give through action and self-reflection:

7 dangers of action without structured self-reflection:

1. Busyness. Busyness isn’t productive unless you reflect.
2. Inauthenticity. You become the victim of action when you neglect self-reflection.
3. Anxiety. You struggle to know what life means.
4. Drifting. You act without purpose and direction.
5. Burnout. Pause and reflect before you throw your hands up in despair.
6. Repetition. You repeat mistakes until you notice destructive patterns in your life.
7. Dissatisfaction. You escape dissatisfaction by first noticing and acknowledging it. You don’t fight dissatisfaction; you transform it.

Reflect so you can grow and give:

Growth, purpose, and self-reflection are hippy talk when the only thing that matters is action.

If you asked Bob, the main character in The Vagrant, about his self-reflection practice he’d look at you like a cow looks at a new gate. Bob doesn’t have time for self-reflection, he’s too busy succeeding.

Reflect before action:

1. How would you like to grow today?
2. How would you like to give today?
3. How do you want to influence people around you today?
4. Based on your answer to question #3, how will you show up today?

Reflect after action:

Use the four reflection questions I listed above for reflection after action.

Begin gently:

Begin gently if a reflection practice freaks you out.

1. Write down one intention in the morning and check yourself throughout the day.
2. Reflect on Saturday. I encourage you to reflect every day, but begin once a week if once a day gives you apoplexy.
3. Read The Vagrant. You’ll find several self-reflection practices at the end.

Tip: Design your own reflection question. The above questions are just samples.

How has self-reflection helped you grow and give?

What are some self-reflection questions that enable people to grow and give?

Still curious:

Purpose Simplified – Who Do You Want to be When You Grow Old

Simple Practices That Will Change Your Life

*Who Do You Want to be When You Grow Old

Like this:

Like Loading…

Continue reading

What Should Always Come before Leadership

Before you earn the right to lead others, you must first be able to lead yourself. Nobody wants to follow someone who hasn’t demonstrated the discipline and skills to be personally successful. How can that person help others be more successful? 

Self-leadership is the first step toward leading others.

 

What is Self-Leadership?

Self-leadership is the art of taking responsibility for your own life and making conscious choices that align with your values, passions, and goals. It involves becoming the captain of your own ship and being able to create the life you desire. Self-leadership is about recognizing that you have the power to shape your destiny, regardless of external circumstances.

 

Why is Self-Leadership Important?

Self-leadership empowers you to live a life of purpose, authenticity, and personal fulfillment. Importantly, it gives you credibility. If you are the kind of person others admire and respect, they will be influenced by your example, and ultimately leadership is positive influence. 

Self-leadership enhances your decision-making abilities, increases your resilience, and develops a sense of control over your life. It is the key to unlocking your true potential and creating a life that reflects your deepest aspirations and positively impacts others.

Developing Self-Leadership

Here are some of the key skills that create self-leadership:

Self-Awareness: Start by understanding yourself on a deeper level. Reflect on your values, strengths, weaknesses, and aspirations. As Socrates said, know thyself. Identify your purpose and the legacy you want to leave. Self-awareness forms the foundation of self-leadership, giving insight into your true self.

Goal Orientation: Establishing clear, meaningful goals provides direction and purpose. Define what success means to you in different areas of your life—career, relationships, health, personal growth—and set SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound) goals to guide your actions. Regularly review and adjust your goals as you progress.

Personal responsibility: Take responsibility and see yourself as the CEO of your life. This includes responsibility for your choices, actions, reactions and outcomes. Avoid blaming others or external circumstances when things go wrong. Instead, focus on what you can control and how you can learn from challenges.

Self-Discipline: Develop the discipline to consistently take actions that align with your goals and values. This means prioritizing tasks, managing your time effectively, and staying committed even when faced with distractions or setbacks. Practice self-control, building habits that support your growth and progress.

Continuous Learning: Adopt a growth mindset and commit to lifelong learning. You choose to keep learning and growing. Seek out new experiences, acquire new skills, and challenge yourself to step outside your comfort zone. Embrace failure as an opportunity to learn and grow. Stay curious, open-minded, and adaptable in the face of change.

A Supportive Network: Surround yourself with individuals who inspire and challenge you to be your best self. Seek mentors and role models who embody the qualities and values you admire. Engage in communities that provide support, accountability, and opportunities for collaboration and growth.

Self-Care:…

Continue reading

Your Lens Determines Vision

I have attributed the following statement to Annis Nin. “We don’t see things as they are; we see them as we are.” Quote Investigator’s article says its attribution is uncertain. The wisdom remains whoever said it first.

The way you see yourself is the way you see the world.

The lens:

1. Weakness sees threats. Competence sees opportunities.
2. Pessimism sees obstacles. Optimism sees possibilities.
3. Insecurity sees judgment. Self-assurance sees acceptance.
4. Doubt sees limitation. Self-belief sees potential.
5. Negativity sees problems. Positivity sees solutions.
6. Ignorance sees confusion. Knowledge sees clarity.
7. Isolation sees loneliness. Connection sees companionship.
8. Resentment sees offense. Forgiveness sees healing.
9. Rigidity sees stagnation. Adaptability sees growth.
10. Scarcity sees lack. Abundance sees plenty.
11. Conformity sees can’t. Creativity sees can.
12. Entitlement sees privilege. Gratitude sees blessings.
13. Failure looks to the future with anxiety. Success looks to the future with confidence.
14. Regret sees missed opportunities. Acceptance sees learning experiences.
15. Complacency sees indifference. Initiative sees growth.

Application:

Different lenses – same situation.

I heard a story about two shoe salesmen who showed up in a town where people didn’t wear shoes. One phoned back and said, “It’s a dead market. No one wears shoes here.” The other phoned the office and said, “Ramp up production. Everyone here needs shoes and they have no shoe stores.”

Consider the consequences of the words above.

1. Offense or healing.
2. Solutions or problems.
3. Obstacles or possibilities.
4. Limitation or potential.

What does your way of seeing the world say about the way you see yourself?

Like this:

Like Loading…

Continue reading

20 Ways to Increase Personal Energy

Time and personal energy are the most important things you manage. Technically you can’t manage time: you can only manage the way you use it.

Personal energy is the most important thing you manage.

20 ways to increase personal energy:

1. Delegate authority to competent people and trust them.
2. Stop complaining about things you can’t change.
3. Participate in decisions.
4. Choose your own goals.
5. Make progress toward desired results.
6. Enjoy the people you work with.
7. Feel reasonably challenged.
8. Receive recognition.
9. Know your work matters to others.
10. Establish priorities that enable you to say no.
11. Receive useful feedback.
12. Drink plenty of water.
13. Don’t play favorites.
14. Have a life outside work.
15. Outlaw back-to-back meetings.
16. Learn new skills.
17. Hold yourself and others accountable.
18. Turn off electronics from time to time.
19. Quiet your heart several times a day.
20. Take time off.

Which personal energy tip will you practice today?

What personal energy tips can you add to the list?

Still curious:

20 Questions You Can Use to Audit Personal Energy

Manage Your Energy, Not Your Time (hbr.org)

Like this:

Like Loading…

Continue reading

How to Build Stability during Turbulence

My brain never leaps to the best thing that could happen.

When I don’t hear back from a friend, I imagine they’re mad at me. A headache is a brain tumor. Thankfully I don’t get headaches very often.

People usually jump to negative conclusions. Imagined catastrophes make stability unlikely.

Catastrophizing:

1. Distorts reasoning.
2. Elevates stress.
3. Pollutes decision-making.
4. Strains relationships.
5. Increases distrust.

Despair:

Your team sings the Gloom and Doom Song during uncertainty unless you stop catastrophizing.

HEE HAW was a comedy tv show that ran from 1969 to 1971. One sketch featured people singing the Gloom and Doom Song.

Gloom, despair, and agony on ohhhh!
Deep dark depression, excessive misery-y!
If it weren’t for bad luck, I’d have no luck at all!
Gloom, despair, and agony on ohhh!

“Gloom, Despair & Agony.” (one minute video)

Predictability increases stability:

#1. Satisfy the need to know.

Your team will fabricate stories if you neglect communication. Answer high anxiety with consistent communication.

#2. Comfort people with scheduled communication.

You might say, “We’re in an uncertain situation. I’ll keep you in the know with an update on our situation every Monday Morning.”

#3. Manage expectations.

You might say, “This situation will develop slowly. Some updates will inform you that nothing has changed.”

When nothing changes, use your update email to encourage your team to continue doing a great job.

#4. Commit to truthfulness.

You may not feel the need to say you’ll keep everyone informed, but others might need to hear it.

Turn people to day-to-day tasks. Remind everyone that your customers need you.

Rituals add stability during uncertainty.

How can leaders build stability during turbulence?

John David Mann and I invite you to check out our new book, The Vagrant: The Inner Journey of Leadership.

Like this:

Like Loading…

Continue reading

Take the Next Step

The life you want won’t appear like a rabbit out of a hat. Magic won’t help. Just take the next step.

Fear stands between you and the life you want.

1. Fear of failure.
2. Fear you are average.
3. Fear of success.
4. Fear of being wrong.

The next step:

Do more than fear – love. When you’re afraid, look for something to love.

Do more than watch tv – read. I watch too much tv at night. How about you?

Do more than wish – plan. Plans enable you to check progress.

Do more than avoid – bring it up. Tough issues don’t magically disappear.

Do more than talk – listen to understand. Stay quiet for just two beats more than usual.

Do more than criticize – support. If you aren’t willing to support, stop criticizing. Ask, “What can I do to support improvement?”

Do more than gather – give. What can you give today? Knowledge. Resources. Encouragement. Time.

Do more than complain – improve. Notice your complaints. Stop talking unless you’re willing to participate in making things better.

Do more than react – reflect. Design three questions to ask yourself at the end of the day.

Do more than grumble – express gratitude. Gratitude doesn’t solve everything, but almost.

Do more than point out faults – improve yourself. Don’t comfort yourself with the shortcomings of others.

Do more than work – rest.

Inspiration:

William Arthur Ward’s quote inspired this post.

“Do more than belong: participate. Do more than care: help. Do more than believe: practice. Do more than be fair: be kind. Do more than forgive: forget. Do more than dream: work.”

Which ‘next step’ applies best to you today?

What might you add to the above list?

John David Mann and I invite you to check out our new book, The Vagrant: The Inner Journey of Leadership.

Like this:

Like Loading…

Continue reading