Category: Leadership

If Words Had Calories – Suggestions for Bloviators – Leadership Freak

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How to Measure the Impact of Words

You want a life of impact but what if you talk all day. Action feels more impactful than words. The further you are from the frontline the more you talk.

Some people are seduced by the sound of their own voice. But high aspiration leaders want a life of impact.

How do you measure impact if you talk all day? You might brag that you attended 4 meetings and had 7 conversations, but how does that prove impact?

How do you measure the impact of answering 27 emails? You can’t touch anything to prove you finished something. An empty inbox is momentary gratification.

How to measure the impact of words:

#1. Define better:

The only reason to open your mouth is to make something better. Determine what better looks like before you open your mouth.

Ask people to help set goals for conversations. “What’s going to make our conversation useful to you?” Or ask, “What would you like to take away from our conversation?”

#2. Ask impactful questions.

What are you proud you’re doing?
What’s holding you back?
What’s the next step?
What are you great at?
What are you trying to accomplish?

#3. Ask people to explain your impact.

At the end of conversations ask…

What’s your takeaway from our conversation? I asked a client, “What’s your takeaway from our conversation. He said, “Affirmation he was on the right path.”
How has our conversation been useful to you?

It takes courage to ask the above questions, but wouldn’t it be good to know if you wasted your time?

Conclusion:

Progress feels meaningful.

Visible results feel impactful.

Meeting a specific goal – that means something to you – feels impactful.

Design a life of impact or you’ll dance with trivialities.

How can you measure the impact of your words?

4 Ways to Talk Like a Leader – Leadership Freak

How do you write a book about humility? John David Mann and I wrote The Vagrant.

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7 Steps Toward Authenticity – Leadership Freak

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Remarkable Leaders Are Alike in One Powerful Way

Remarkable leaders share one common characteristic. They are NOT like each other.

Pick any four remarkable leaders from U.S. history – George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, John Adams, and Benjamin Franklin for example. They are remarkably different from each other.

10 common characteristics of most remarkable leaders:

There is no single template for remarkable leaders. But many share common characteristics.

Remarkable leaders…

Find strength in supportive relationships.
Try new things.
Notice how experiences influence who they are becoming.
Integrate their past into the present.
Feel secure enough to be changed by feedback.
Live by their personal values.
Make reliable assessments of circumstances without drama.
Believe they have value.
Seek to have positive impact.
Face their frailties and strengths honestly.

There are remarkable exceptions to the above list. My experience shows that some leaders live with deep insecurities. See #8 above. Some overestimate themselves (which isn’t all bad). See #10 above.

Application:

Remarkable leaders don’t fit a mold. Why are you trying to be like someone else?

Adopt best practices but don’t lose yourself in the process. Your fussiness might make you a remarkable leader. The secret is to believe in something to fight for.

Warning: Authenticity is no excuse to flaunt weakness, reject feedback, or be a jerk.

What are you willing to fight for?

What makes you different?

The Secret to Developing Authentic Leaders on Your Team is One Thing – Leadership Freak

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The Top 4 Mistakes Busy Leaders Make – Leadership Freak

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7 Dumb Mistakes New Leaders Make That You Must Avoid

Remember when you were just a twig on the leadership tree. You ached to bear fruit. You admired how the big branches did big things while you secretly shivered.

Ambition and fear cause new leaders to make unnecessary mistakes.

7 Dumb mistakes new leaders make:

Mistake #1. Not noticing stress in others because you’re stressed out.

Your arrival stresses others. The stress you feel, others feel too.

Solutions:

Realize your passion may seem pushy to others.
Practice active listening.
Notice people’s energy.

Mistake #2. Trying to grow big fruit fast. Win small – win often.

Solutions:

Build confidence by designing goals and milestones WITH team members.
Hold yourself and others accountable.
Honor incremental progress.

Mistake #3. Being gullible.

Don’t believe everything you’re told. People have personal agendas.

Solutions:

Have conversations with fringe-people.
Show up on the front line and ask questions.
Reflect on the impact of requests and input. What do people want?

Mistake #4. Falling prey to leafy branches.

Some branches grow real fruit and some grow showy leaves.

Solutions:

Study up on the difference between introverts and extroverts.
Notice who talks about things they plan to do and who reports what they are actually doing.
Establish and monitor performance metrics.

Mistake #5. Corroding trust by micromanaging.

Competent people resent being treated like novices. Being a novice isn’t permission to treat others like idiots.

Solutions:

Listen to teammate’s life stories. Pay attention to experience levels.
Notice your team’s go-to people. Trust people who are trusted by others.
Establish a rhythm for one-on-ones.

#6. Coming off like a know-it-all.

Don’t resist feedback. Seek it.

Remind yourself that most people are trying to help.
Practice gratitude and curiosity when receiving feedback.
Seek multiple options when pursuing suggestions. Don’t let people expect you to do everything they suggest.

Bonus mistake #7: Seeming disinterested in people because you’re so busy.

What mistakes do you see new leaders making?

An Actionable Solution to the Mistakes Leaders Make – Leadership Freak

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Courage to Become a Leader – Leadership Freak

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Courage When Your Knees Buckle

The opposite of weakness isn’t strength, it’s courage.

Your knees will buckle someday. Strength will fail you unless you consistently aim low. Boredom defeats you when competence always sustains you.

Clinging to competence is sleeping with attainability. Attainability is the mother of average. Lean into courage when you’re in over your head.

Courage when your knees buckle:

#1. Drop your mask.

Vulnerability sets you free. Weak leaders eventually collapse under the weight of fakery.

Don’t run around bragging about incompetence. Seeking pity weakens you.

Ways to drop your mask with courage:

Say you don’t know but you’re working on it.
Do something today that reflects your commitment to personal growth. People can’t grow for you.
Connect with others. Ask experienced leaders how they found strength. (Don’t simply ask what to do. Ask how to do.)
Look outside your current circle of friends for a mentor or coach.

#2. Experiment.

Reflect on desired results. What do you want to happen?
Record your current strategy. What are you doing that isn’t working? Confess current strategies aren’t working.
Adopt an “I’m learning” attitude. (Learning means failure. You only learn when you fail.)
Write down three things you could try to attain desired results. Try one.
Reflect and repeat.

#3. Self-reflect.

Practice structured self-reflection.

Set an intention in the morning. Determine one behavior that expresses your intention.
At the end of the day reflect on results.
What did you try?
How did it work?
What did you learn about others, yourself, and behaviors that work?
What do you intend to do tomorrow?
Treat yourself like a kid. When children are learning you don’t beat them down. You cheer them on.

What do courageous leaders look like?

Two Hours to Courage – Leadership Freak

Source for Roosevelt quote: Good Reads

“The Vagrant: The Inner Journey of Leadership,” enables leaders to see themselves more clearly and provides structured self-reflection exercises to move your growth forward.

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How to Transform Distraction into Achievement – Leadership Freak

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How to B.U.I.L.D. T.R.U.S.T. – Leadership Freak

How to B.U.I.L.D. T.R.U.S.T.

Average leaders get things done. Exceptional leaders build environments where others get things done.

Average leaders fix. Exceptional leaders build.

B.U.I.L.D.

Practices if you want to build environments where others get things done…

B – Boldness.

U – Uplift hearts.

I – Involvement. If you want people to engage then involve them.

L – Love people. Better yet, see untapped greatness in people.

D – Delegate.

T.R.U.S.T.

Exceptional leaders build trust. Practices that build trust…

T – Transparency.

R – Relationship building.

U – Unselfishness.

S – Sincerity (Genuineness).

T – Tactfulness.

Successful leaders B.U.I.L.D. T.R.U.S.T.

Aim high. Make progress today.

What’s one thing you can do today to build an environment where others get things done?

What’s one thing you can do today to build trust?

3 Reasons People Follow You – Leadership Freak

John Spence is one of the top business and leadership experts in the world. Here are his thoughts on our new book, The Vagrant: The Inner Journey of Leadership.

Vagrant on Vimeo (1 minute and 7 seconds)

The Vagrant on Linkedin

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13 Big Changes Caused by Digital Communication

Digital communication has transformed the way we convey messages using the spoken or written word. These changes may or may not be for the better, depending on your perspective. Knowing what they are, however, and understanding the changes can make you a better communicator.

So what is different today?

1. Social media has given people a platform to share their thoughts and opinions on a global scale, leading to more public and open conversations.

2. And it has also made it easier for people to disseminate bad or incorrect information.

3. It is harder than ever to assess the validity of information.

4. Influence has been commercialized. The messenger often trumps the message in terms of impact. Profit is often driven by tenuous third party endorsement.

5. The use of acronyms and emojis has become more common in written communication. While convenient, it has resulted in decreased nuances in meaning and emotion.

6. Spelling and grammar have become less formal, with more informal language and contractions used in everyday communication. This informality isn’t without risk. As the cliche goes, casualness can create casualties. The effectiveness of beauty of good writing is affected.

7. The use of voice recognition technology has made spoken communication easier, with virtual assistants such as Siri and Alexa becoming more popular. The imperfect translation from voice to print can cause humorous if not disastrous consequences.

8. The use of video conferencing has become more common, making remote communication more accessible. It has also resulted in what has been called “zoom fatigue” and an over reliance on video conferencing diminishes relationships.

9. The use of slang and colloquial language has become more common, particularly in informal spoken communication.

10. The use of nonverbal cues, such as facial expressions and body language, is becoming more important in video communication.

11. The need for brevity in communication has increased, with people preferring shorter, more concise messages.

12. The use of artificial intelligence and machine learning has made it possible to automate certain aspects of written and spoken communication, such as chatbots and automated customer service responses.

13. ChatGPT is dramatically changing how we access and assemble information into various types of communication.

What changes, large or small, have you noticed?

Mark Sanborn is an inspiring leadership keynote speaker and Leadership Expert in Residence at High Point University, the Premier Life Skills University. He teaches leaders and teams how to be extraordinary. For more information about his work, visit www.marksanborn.com.

Author: Mark Sanborn

Mark holds the Certified Speaking Professional designation from the National Speakers Association (NSA) and is a member of the Speaker Hall of Fame. He was recently honored with the Cavett Award, the highest honor the NSA bestows on its members, in recognition of his outstanding contributions to the speaking profession. In 2020, Global Gurus named Mark the #5 Leadership Authority in the world.

How to Discern the Hidden Meaning Behind Suggestions

People say, “We should,” when they mean, “You should.” Bosses say ‘we’ when they mean ‘you’.

It’s a tiny act of cowardice to say ‘we’ when you mean ‘you’.

Discern the meaning of pronouns when people make suggestions.

The hidden meaning behind suggestions:

“We should,” has four potential meanings.

#1. Give ME a job.

Sometimes ‘we’ means ‘I’. High aspiration people seek opportunities to make a difference. They seek challenges and responsibilities. The second option is more dangerous.

#2. Give OTHERS a job.

Complainers use ‘we’ when they mean ‘they’. Complainers have suggestions for others.

When complainers make suggestions ask yourself, “Who does the work?” Complainers make life easier for themselves and harder for others.

Politicians have suggestions for others. They want to shine at the expense of others.

Beware suggestions that make life harder for others. The third option is most dangerous.

#3. Give YOU a job.

Sometimes ‘we’ means ‘YOU’. Naïve leaders jump on opportunities to help and end up doing other people’s work.

You never succeed when you do other people’s work. The fourth potential definition of ‘we’ is honest.

#4. Give US a job.

Sometimes ‘we’ really means ‘we’.

Conclusion:

Define pronouns. A ‘we’ could mean ‘me’, ‘they’, ‘you’, or ‘we’.

How are people using ‘we’ in your organization?

7 Truths about Chronic Complainers Every Leader Needs Today – Leadership Freak

12 Sentences that Prevent Reverse Delegation – Leadership Freak

John David Mann and I collaborated on a book that helps leaders get real with themselves – The Vagrant: The Inner Journey of Leadership.

If you’re reading The Vagrant as a team or a group, send an email to thevagrantbook@gmail.com and let me know. I’d love to setup a short video call with you to meet you, answer questions, and help you get the most out of your experience.

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4 Practices to Make Coaching Easy and Effective – Leadership Freak

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3 Rules for Being Yourself at Work

You stumble into success when you practice being yourself. It happened to me when I stopped trying to impress people.

Impact increases when you speak from the heart, when you’re being yourself.

Don’t worry so much about saying the right thing. Say what’s in your heart. Just don’t say something stupid.

Things I say today:

I say things to my coaching clients I didn’t say 10 years ago but should have.

I only work with people I admire.
I was thinking about our conversation in the shower.
I’ve been looking forward to learning from you.
You’re doing a great job.
They’re lucky to have you.
Brag to me. It’s just us. Tell me about the good things you’re doing.
It’s a privilege to work with you.
That’s brilliant.
I think you can do better.
One of the things I learned in our conversation to day is ….

3 Rules for being yourself at work:

Rule #1: Lower your guard.

When you lower your guard people feel comfortable being themselves. Personal relationship contributes to the growth process.

You give permission for people to be real when you stop faking.

Growth happens on the fringes of great relationships. But when you put on a mask everyone reaches for theirs too.

Rule #2: Express high regard.

Find reasons to like imperfect humans. Begin with yourself.

Who welcomes your influence in their life? People you hold in high regard or people that tick you off. People resist you when they feel you disrespect them.

Rule #3: Make a few evaluative statements.

Some of the things I say to clients might make ‘professional’ coaches bristle because they’re evaluative. I have no defense.

Final thoughts:

Express your heart when it’s appropriate. Don’t unburden yourself. Express your noble feelings.

People experience personal growth when they experience your genuine self.

What concerns you about being yourself?

How are you practicing being yourself at work?

4 Ways to Develop Talent by Coaching Through Success – Leadership Freak

John David Mann and I collaborated on a book that helps leaders get real with themselves – The Vagrant: The Inner Journey of Leadership.

Order The Vagrant: