Month: February 2023

How to spot the signs of lust in the eyes.

When a stranger looks into your eyes, it could signal romantic love, but if their eyes then slide down your body, they’re probably feeling sexual desire, a study finds.

This automatic judgement can happen in as little as half a second and likely recruits different networks of activity in the brain.

Stephanie Cacioppo, who led the study, which is published in the journal Psychological Science, said:

“Although little is currently known about the science of love at first sight or how people fall in love, these patterns of response provide the first clues regarding how automatic attentional processes, such as eye gaze, may differentiate feelings of love from feelings of desire toward strangers.”

In the study, men and women looked at photographs of strangers and indicated as quickly as possible whether they were feeling romantic love or sexual desire (Bolmont et al., 2014).

Some were pictures of couples, others of a single person of the opposite sex.

At the same time, eye-tracking equipment followed where they looked in the photographs.

By putting these two pieces of information together, the researchers found that people tended to be looking at the face first, and that’s where the eyes rested when thinking about romantic love.

But, when participants felt sexual desire, their gaze quickly shifted down the body.

Here are the ‘heat maps’ which show where people were looking:

When people felt sexual desire, their gaze mainly focused on the faces at first, but the green area below shows their gaze moving southwards.

Love and sexual desire are surprisingly separate processes in both the brain and in people’s lived experience:

“Love is not a prerequisite for sexual desire, and sexual desire does not necessarily lead to love. Love and lust can exist by themselves or in combination, and to any degree.

In one study of 500 individuals conducted in the mid-1960s by Tennov (1999), 61% of the women and 35% of the men agreed with the statement, “I have been in love without feeling any need for sex,” and 53% of the women and 79% of the men agreed with the statement, “I have been sexually attracted without feeling the slightest trace of love.””

Image credits: Stephanie Cacioppo & Bolmont et al.

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Episode 2028 Scott Adams PART1: Trump Witch Hunt Grand Jury, Ramaswamy vs Cartels, Eric & UFOs, More Fun

Content:

• If you’re White, don’t live in a Black neighborhood
• Nikki Haley ahead of DeSantis in poll
• Eric Weinstein, Sam Harris, & UFOs
• The Political Gooners
• Georgia Grand Jury foreperson…witch?
• Ukraine war, ammo shortage
• If you would like to enjoy this same content plus bonus content from Scott Adams, including micro-lessons on lots of useful topicsto build your talent stack, please see scottadams.locals.com for full access to that secret treasure.

 

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

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Stop biting your nails with these 8 ways based on the latest psychological research on habit change.

The bad habit of biting your nails is much more common than you might think.

Some studies have found about one-quarter of children bite their nails habitually (Ghanizadeh & Shekoohi, 2011), others say it may peak at almost 45 percent in adolescence (Peterson et al., 1994).

More surprisingly, the prevalence of biting nails amongst adults may be just as high, with some estimates at 50 percent (Hansen et al., 1990).

Here’s my 8-step guide on how to stop biting your nails based on the psychological research:

1. Motivation to stop biting nails

It might seem redundant to say, but any change, including to stop biting your nails has to be desired, really desired.

And for such a simple behaviour, biting your nails is surprisingly hard to quit, perhaps partly because it doesn’t seem that big a deal and our hands are always with us.

This is especially a problem if you are trying to change someone else’s behaviour.

One method for boosting motivation  to stop biting nails is to think carefully about the positive aspects of changing the habit, for example attractive looking nails and a sense of accomplishment.

Also, make the negative aspects of nail-biting as dramatic as possible in your mind.

If you tend to think it’s no big deal then you’re unlikely to make the change.

In addition, you can try mental contrasting, which has been backed by psychological research on habit change.

2. Suppressing nail biting does not work

It doesn’t matter if it’s you or your child that you’re trying to change, suppression does not work.

Punishing a child for nail biting is a bad move.

They will know it’s a way to attract attention and they will use it.

The same is true when changing your own habit of nail biting.

Trying to tell your unconscious to stop doing something is like trying to tell a child.

It reacts childishly by doing the complete opposite.

Here’s the technical explanation for why thought suppression is counter-productive.

3. Replace nail biting with another habit

One of the keys to habit change is developing a new, good (or at least neutral) response that can compete with the old, bad habit.

The best types are ones that are incompatible with your old habit.

So, for biting your nails you could try:

• chewing gum,
• putting your hands in your pockets,
• twiddling your thumbs,
• playing with a ball or an elastic band,
• clasping your hands together,
• eating a carrot,
• or clipping or filing them instead.

4. Visual reminders to stop nail biting

If you keep your nails clipped short then there is less temptation to bite them.

Some people recommend having a manicure because the money spent, along with how much better your nails look, will deter you from biting them.

You could also paint your nails a bright colour as a reminder, although most men seem to find this look difficult to pull off—I can’t imagine why.

Another method is to wear something around your wrist, like a bracelet or elastic band, to remind you of your goal.

Remember that…

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