Dear Dan: What Questions Should I Ask My CEO

Dear Dan: What Questions Should I Ask My CEO

Dear Dan,

I have a new position within our company. Now I report directly to the CEO. What questions should I ask during our first meeting?

Sincerely,

Bob

Questions invite engagement. Statements invite judgement. Image of sheep in a field.Questions invite engagement. Statements invite judgement. Image of sheep in a field.

Dear Bob,

Congratulations on earning a new position. Here’s a list of questions to choose from. I recommend you pick two or three.

Safe landing strip:

The landing strip for questions is the sentence before the question that declares your intention. Questions can feel awkward. People wonder what you’re after. It’s best to tell them why you’re asking before you ask.
The sentence before the question narrows responses. Help listeners focus on your interests.

  1. I’m just curious.
  2. I wonder what’s important to you.
  3. I want to be sure I focus on….
  4. I want to bring value to our customers.
  5. I want to focus my energy on important things.

Great answers to wrong questions are wearisome. Image of a bored dog.Great answers to wrong questions are wearisome. Image of a bored dog.

Questions to ask the CEO:

1. What will be true six months from now?

Ask from three perspectives, for customers, your organization, and for yourself.
“I want to bring value to our customers. If I’m wildly successful in this new role, what will be true for our customers six months from now?”

2. What value do you believe I can bring our customers?

Don’t ask, “What value can I bring our customers?” Ask the question from a personal perspective. You might not hear a personal answer, but it’s worth a try.

3. What did you see in me that prompted you to offer me this position?

Don’t sound needy when you ask this question. Use a landing strip sentence.

  1. “I want to be sure I understand how I earned this position.”
  2. “I look forward to serving in this new capacity. If you don’t mind me asking, what did you see in me that caused you to offer me this position?”
    Listen for specific skills, attitudes, and behaviors. Gently ask a second question if their answer focuses on the work.
  3. “That’s helpful. I’m also interested in any specific skills you noticed.” Insert words like, strengths, talents, attitudes, or behaviors in the place of skills.
  4. “That’s helpful. I wonder if…?”
  5. “I appreciate that. Could you say more about…?”

4. What will I not have done if I fail at this position?

Set a timeframe. “Six months from now.”

Don’t sound insecure. Build a safe landing strip. “I want to be sure I understand the key success factors of this role from your perspective.”

10 Possible questions:

  1. What would you like me to know about you?
  2. What…

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Curiosity: 5 Powerful Questions You Can Ask Today

Curiosity: 5 Powerful Questions You Can Ask Today

The opposite of curiosity is apathy.

You don’t need to be smart to be curious, but asking questions makes you smart. If curiosity is for children, give us more children.

Transformation begins with a question.

Curiosity is easy. Make fewer statements. Ask more questions. Image of a light bulb.Curiosity is easy. Make fewer statements. Ask more questions. Image of a light bulb.

5 symptoms of lost curiosity:

  1. Stress increases. Curious people find answers. People who know defend answers.
  2. Brains shrivel. Your brain needs exercise just like your muscles. Asking questions strengthens your brain.
  3. Satisfaction declines. “I wonder if,” makes you pay attention.
  4. Stagnation takes root. In a turbulent world, lack of curiosity defeats you.
  5. Opportunities go elsewhere. “Could we…,” is a beginning.

5 advantages of curiosity:

#1. Self-discovery.

Be curious about yourself. Know what makes you tick so you can bring your best. Mindlessly working is dissatisfying.

#2. Relationships.

Curiosity about people enables connection. Some people protect themselves with walls, but gentle questions break barriers.

#3. Resilience.

You learn from failure when you notice what went wrong. When you learn from failure the future is brighter.

#4. Collaboration.

Inquiry is the foundation of collaboration.

  1. How might we work together?
  2. What opportunities can we seize together that we can’t alone?
  3. How can we support each other?

#5. Playfulness.

Dr. Stuart Brown, founder of “The National Institute for Play”, states, “Not only does having a playful atmosphere attract young talent, but experts say play at work can boost creativity and productivity in people of all ages.”

Respond to questions - Never pride yourselves on teaching a great number of things. Rest content to rouse curiosity. Image of curious cats.Respond to questions - Never pride yourselves on teaching a great number of things. Rest content to rouse curiosity. Image of curious cats.

Curious people:

  1. Make better decisions than know-it-alls.
  2. Explore.
  3. Ask open questions.
  4. Find solutions. You might not solve everything, but curiosity drives solution-finding.

5 Simple questions you can ask today:

  1. What if?
  2. What else?
  3. How could we?
  4. What about?
  5. What’s next?

How could you be curious today?

Saturday Sage: A Playful Life Is a Better Life

The Single Best Way to Respond to Questions

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How to Believe in People

How to Believe in People

Belief enables leadership. You must believe in the people you lead.

Leaders who don’t believe in people are control freaks.

People follow you because you believe in them. Image of baby ducks looking at the screen.People follow you because you believe in them. Image of baby ducks looking at the screen.

Knowledge guides belief.

The more you know about the people around you, the better you can trust them.
Know what everyone on the team does well. Don’t take a broken truck to the dentist.

Know people’s capacity to rise. Put weight on people and see how they respond. Some respond positively to challenges. Others prefer stability.

Know what lights them up. Motivation is intrinsic. Monitor everyone’s energy. When you see someone go bright you learn their motivations. Give people work that energizes them.

Confidence enables belief.

Finish this sentence for everyone on the team. I’m confident _________ can _________.

Autonomy expresses belief.

How can you let people make their own decisions? Maybe their job defines the work they do, but they can find their own way to do the work.

Challenge:

Past disappointments weaken belief. You trusted people and they let you down. But you trusted the wrong people.

Strengthen your ability to believe in people by learning about them. Exercise informed belief. Blind faith is dangerous.

Subscribe to Leadership Freak for daily inspiration and insight.

What role does belief play in leadership?

More to consider:

The Secret to Bringing Out the Best in Others

Believe in People: The Vitality of Authentic Leadership

The Power Of Believing In Others

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Dear Dan: Negative Comments Cause Self-Doubt

Dear Dan: Negative Comments Cause Self-Doubt

Dear Dan,

How do I overcome the nagging doubt that arises when someone else makes a negative comment about me or my performance? It may be a minority view. Everyone else is happy but there is the one person who finds reason to be unhappy with me. How do I put that into a broader perspective?

Pete

Self-doubt builds a narrow future. Image of a person walking in a narrow alley.Self-doubt builds a narrow future. Image of a person walking in a narrow alley.

Dear Pete,

Self-doubt is a miserable burden that we impose on ourselves. Our feelings are ours. Detractors don’t make us feel anything. Owning our emotions is a lesson we learn and relearn. My problem is I want to be liked.

Self-doubt is the desire to be liked yelling at us.

Hearing negative comments is worth it if taking ownership of self-doubt is the only thing that comes from it. Victor Frankl said, “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

Connect with your freedom.

  1. You don’t have to agree.
  2. You don’t have to change anything.
  3. You can lean in with curiosity.
  4. You may choose to work on improving something in yourself.
  5. You may choose to challenge their behavior and assumptions.
  6. You may choose to let it go.
  7. You will only open your mouth to make things better.

“The truth that makes men free is for the most part the truth which men prefer not to hear.” Herbert Agar, A Time For Greatness.

Notice self-doubt:

Don’t try to defeat self-doubt, just notice it. “Well, hello there Mr. Self-Doubt.” Write down everything that self-doubt wants you to feel and think and do. Throw away the paper when you’re done.

Should you have a conversation with nagging critics?

How powerful is the person who is unhappy with you? If it’s the boss, go to them and hash it out. Ask them not to evaluate your performance in public.

If it’s a colleague, thank them for their feedback and move on. Don’t bring it up again.

If it keeps nagging you, go to them in private.

Don’t defend yourself. Don’t make excuses. Say, “I notice you said xyz about my performance. I’m committed to be the best I can be. What caused you to bring that up?”

Accept their perspective. “Thanks for sharing that.” If you disagree, just leave it. If a response is required, tell the truth. “I respect your thoughts. I don’t see things like you. Right now, I’m focusing on other things.”

Choose openness over defensiveness.

Defensiveness is weakness. Be open. They could be right. Express gratitude, even if it stings. The alternative to…

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3 Questions That Move Experienced Leaders Forward

3 Questions That Move Experienced Leaders Forward

“When issues are confusing and decisions are stressful, I’m the go-to person for my team. In some ways that’s good, but I wonder what I’m doing to cause dependency?” (Asked during a coaching conversation.)

It’s impressive when leaders ask probing questions about themselves.

Ego loves being the go-to person. But dependency makes people weak. And leaders get in the way when they need to be needed.

Well timed questions enable people to craft their own path. Image of a mountain trail.Well timed questions enable people to craft their own path. Image of a mountain trail.

3 questions that move experienced leaders forward:

Question one: What do you want for your team?

“I want my leaders to feel empowered to make decisions on their own.”

Question two: Who are your go-to people?

My friend said, “I’m often asked who my go-to people are. I tell them I have a coach.” He added five others to his list. Three people are outside his company and three inside.

Image of a group of happy people.Image of a group of happy people.

“Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future.” Unknown

Question three: How did you collect a team of go-to people?

He answered this question with three practices.

  1. Seek out people with technical expertise.
  2. Follow up with people you meet at industry specific events. Perhaps there’s a connection.
  3. Build relationships with talented people inside your organization.

My observations suggest character traits matter too.

Leaders with a personal team of go-to people practice humility. They admire the skills and talents of others. They respect outside perspectives. And they relentlessly improve themselves.

Subscribe to Leadership Freak to receive daily inspiration and insight.

Summary:

  1. What do you want for others?
  2. How are you doing it yourself?
  3. How can others apply what you know?

Well timed questions enable people to answer their own questions.

Note: This line of questioning works with experienced leaders. Novices may not know.

What questions help people find their own path forward?

Still curious:

Have you Fallen into the Destructive Practice of Offering Harmful Help

The Seven Powers of Powerful Questions

The Power of Second Questions

The Goal of Helping is Enabling, Not More Helping

3 Key Questions for Moving Forward

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The 5 Skills Managers Must Master

The 5 Skills Managers Must Master

David Dodson has an MBA from Stanford. He worked for McKenzie and Company. But he discovered what every manager knows, “… credentials are not skills.”

You learn about skills in books. You develop skills in the trenches. Dodson’s new book, The Manager’s Handbook, is for people with dirt under their fingernails.

I discovered that credentials aren't skills. Image of a graduate tearing a diploma.I discovered that credentials aren't skills. Image of a graduate tearing a diploma.

The top 5 skills managers must master:

1. Build the team.

A manager’s success depends on others. If you still think it’s all about you, you’re doomed to exhaustion. The higher you go the more you depend on others.

  1. Hire for outcomes.
  2. Provide instant feedback.
  3. Use 360-degree feedback.
  4. Coach people.

2. Set priorities.

“If you were to succeed at only one thing and ignore everything else, what would that be?” Dodson
A person without priorities is driven by urgent trivialities.

  1. Set KPIs (Key performance indicators.)
  2. Generate a list of opportunities. Now cross almost everything off the list.

3. Guard time.

“It’s not enough to be busy. So are the ants. The question is, “What are you busy about?” Thoreau
A great month is built on a series of great days.

Dodson writes, “The creativity and insights that transform an organization seldom happen in the slivers between answering emails and responding to routine requests. They require uninterrupted blocks of time, free from low value transactional work.”

Time tips:

  1. Check messages less often.
  2. Shorten meetings.
  3. Use the Eisenhower Matrix to guard time.

4. Seek and take advice.

Surround yourself with advisors. Look for…

  1. Experience.
  2. Pattern recognition. You repeat past frustrations until you notice what keeps coming back.
  3. Time to give advice that stings on occasion.

5. Obsess over quality.

“Do what you do so well that they will want to see it again and bring their friends.” Walt Disney

Quality drives price.

Note: The manager’s top skills are connected to each other.

Which management skill is most relevant to you today? Why?

This post is based on my conversation with David Dodson and his new book, The Manager’s Handbook.

Purchase, The Manager’s Handbook. It’s practical and actionable.

Still curious:

Successful Time Management isn’t about Getting More Done

5 Ways to Become a Gifted Adviser

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HOW TO OVERCOME NEGATIVE THOUGHTS

HOW TO OVERCOME NEGATIVE THOUGHTS

It’s natural to obsess over one bad thing and forget many good things. One problem, like one drop of poison, has the power to pollute everything.

Life is better than it seems for negative people.

Negative thoughts create a small box.

Negative thoughts create a small box. Image of a person with a box over their head.Negative thoughts create a small box. Image of a person with a box over their head.

Negative thoughts:

Obsession over one negative quality clouds your judgment.

Suppose you have a team member who consistently arrives five minutes late for meetings. They’re great with people, highly skilled, and serve clients well.

Where would you be without Mr. Five Minutes Late? Does he bring value? If yes, stop obsessing over one negative quality.

What if timeliness is a hill you want to die on?

Because I said, “Stop obsessing over one negative quality,” you may have assumed I meant forget all about timeliness. ‘All or nothing thinking’ holds leaders back.

Rise above one-thing-thinking:

One way to stop obsessing over negative thoughts is to take specific action.

1. Obsess about honor and gratitude as much as you obsess over fixing problems.

2. Force yourself to think about the big picture.

3. Try a ‘just for today’ approach.

Just for today, let go of nagging Ms. Can’t-You-Show-Up-On-Time. Nag her tomorrow. Just for today, notice her value and contributions.

4. Explain your expectations and ask, “What can you do to arrive on time?” Listen for specific behaviors. “Try harder,” isn’t an answer.

5. Meet with Ms. Tardy 10 minutes before the meeting to discuss something else.

6. Schedule 50-minute meetings. Don’t force people to be late for their next appointment.

7. Don’t ask, “Why are you late?” Why questions invite excuses that force you to become an accuser.

Bonus: Make a list of all the positive contributions of Little Mr. Can’t-Show-Up-On-Time. Work to improve your own attitude.

Obsessing over negative thoughts:

  1. Closes minds.
  2. Distracts from positive behaviors.
  3. Results in unbalanced judgment.
  4. Makes you small.

What are your suggestions to stop obsessing over negative thoughts?

Still curious:

5 Things to Do When Pedaling Faster Doesn’t Work

How to turn Negative Rumination into Useful Reflection

How to Stop Negative Thoughts

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Leadership and Self Awareness – Mark Sanborn

Cultivating Self-Awareness: An Essential of Effective Leadership

Introduction:

As a leader, I firmly believe that self-awareness is the cornerstone of effective leadership. In today’s fast-paced and ever-evolving business landscape, leaders who possess a deep understanding of themselves can navigate challenges with clarity, make informed decisions, and inspire their teams to do the same and achieve success.

Yet according to Gitnux, “Self-awareness is an important skill to have to be successful and happy. Unfortunately, statistics show that only 10-15% of people are truly self-aware, while 85% believe they are more aware than they actually are. Additionally, roughly 50-70% of people have a significant blind spot which can negatively impact their relationships and leadership skills.”

Korn Ferry says nearly 80% of leaders have blind spot. That’s not particularly surprising since most of us have blind spots, regardless of our roles. But a blind spot in a leader has a greater ripple affect, often impacting the people they lead.

The Importance of Self-Awareness:

Self-awareness is the ability to introspect and recognize our own thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. It empowers leaders to identify their strengths, weaknesses, values, and blind spots. By being conscious of our own impact on others, we can build strong relationships, foster a positive work environment, and make mindful choices that align with our vision and goals.

Types of Self-Awareness:

  • Emotional Self-Awareness: This type of self-awareness involves recognizing and understanding our own emotions. Leaders who possess emotional self-awareness can manage their emotions effectively, remain calm in challenging situations, and respond empathetically to their team members’ needs. By being attuned to our emotions, we can create an environment where open communication and trust flourish.
  • Social Self-Awareness: Social self-awareness refers to understanding how we are perceived by others. Leaders with social self-awareness have a keen sense of the impact of their words, actions, and body language on those around them. By honing this skill, we can adjust our communication style, build rapport, and inspire loyalty and collaboration within our teams.
  • Strengths and Weaknesses Self-Awareness: Recognizing our strengths and weaknesses is crucial for effective leadership. Leaders who possess this self-awareness can leverage their strengths to drive success and seek support or delegate tasks that align with their weaknesses. By understanding our limitations, we can foster a culture of continuous learning and improvement within our organizations.

Developing Self-Awareness

Here are some of the most important tools for developing self-awareness.

  • Reflection and Meditation: Carve out dedicated time for introspection and self-reflection. Engage in mindfulness practices or meditation to quiet the mind and gain deeper insights into your thoughts, emotions, and motivations.
  • Feedback: Actively seek feedback from trusted colleagues, mentors, and team members. Encourage honest and constructive feedback to gain a comprehensive view of how your actions impact others.
  • Journaling: Maintain a journal to capture your thoughts, experiences, and lessons learned. This practice can help you identify patterns, recognize triggers, and track your personal growth as a leader.
  • Assessments and Tools: Utilize various self-assessment tools, such as…

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Books I’m Reading: Poetry, Wisdom, and Biography

Books I’m Reading: Poetry, Wisdom, and Biography

Books fuel your soul.

Pour in so you can pour out. The more you pour in – the more you can pour out. An empty cup can’t contribute.

Since Tyrannio has arranged my books, the house seems to have acquired a soul. Cicero quote. Since Tyrannio has arranged my books, the house seems to have acquired a soul. Cicero quote.

Books I’m reading:

I don’t punish myself by finishing a boring book. Other books are like old friends. I stop in for an occasional visit.

I read several books at once. Here are non-leadership books I’m reading.

Poetry books:

The Road Not Taken and Other Poems: (Penguin Classics Deluxe Edition), Robert Frost.

I mentioned this book on July 7, 2023. Half-Done Compassion

The Complete Poems: (Penguin Classics), Christina Rosetti.

She’s often dark. “Goblin Market,” is my favorite Rossetti poem.

The Collected Works of T.S. Eliot (featuring the Waste Land, 2 collections of poetry and more, all with an active table of contents) Kindle Edition.

Current favorite, “The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock.”

Great Poems for Children Audible Audiobook.

I often read and listen to children’s books. Scarlett Johansson’s performance of Alice in Wonderland is the best performance of a children’s book I’ve ever listened to. The Timeless Tales of Beatrix Potter: Peter Rabbit and Friends, is runner up.

Wisdom books:

The Art of Worldly Wisdom (Illustrated) Kindle Edition by Balthasar Gracian.

Here’s a quote: “There are some men so devoid of purpose that they always require direction from others.”

The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living, Kindle Edition by Ryan Holiday.

I compare the translations of Marcus Aurelius with the Gregory Hays translation of Meditations. Meditations: A New Translation (Modern Library) Kindle Edition.

The Bible.

I usually use the English Standard Version.

Biography:

Oliver Wendell Holmes: A Life in War, Law, and Ideas Audible Audiobook – Unabridged by Stephen Budiansky.

First Man: The Life of Neil A. Armstrong Audible Audiobook – Unabridged by James R. Hansen.

What books are you reading?

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The #1 Self-Defeating Behavior That Brings Leaders Down

The #1 Self-Defeating Behavior That Brings Leaders Down

The faster you stop holding yourself back the more your life will matter.

Other people aren’t your biggest challenge. You are.

The best day in your leadership journey is when you realize the biggest challenges reside within. See if you do some of the self-defeating behaviors I’ve held dear.

The faster you stop self-defeating behaviors, the more your life will matter. Image of a person who feels trapped.The faster you stop self-defeating behaviors, the more your life will matter. Image of a person who feels trapped.

Self-defeating behaviors:

Show up to convince instead of connect.

I’ve carried the burden of knowledge all my life. Everyone is an idiot when you show up knowing. And it’s so exhausting.

The burden of knowledge makes you pushy and manipulative. You don’t intend to be unhumble, but you can’t help it and you don’t see it. I was shocked when my daughter said, “I think you like to scare people.” I thought, “But I’m a fuzzy teddy bear.”

Talk more than you listen.

Put a gag in your word hole if you love the sound of your own voice.

One of my clients texted, “If listening was ever an issue for you, you’ve clearly solved it. You are one of the best listeners I know, finding things in people’s words they don’t even see themselves.”

I’m thankful she feels that way, and it scares me. Listening is work. It doesn’t come naturally to anyone who makes up their mind quickly. (If you’re an introvert, being quiet and actually listening are completely different things.)

Real listening is a willingness to let the other person change you. Image of three giraffes.Real listening is a willingness to let the other person change you. Image of three giraffes.

The #1 self-defeating behavior that brings leaders down:

Lack of self-reflection destroys us.

The solution to self-defeating behaviors begins with structured self-reflection.

When I ask leaders about their self-reflection practice, they often look at me like a cow looks at a new gate.

Questions add structure to self-reflection.

  1. How did you receive help today?
  2. Who did you invite into your life today?
  3. What didn’t work for you today?
  4. What helped you flourish today?
  5. What will you do differently tomorrow?

John David Mann and I wrote a book that helps leaders see themselves more clearly. Coming September 19, 2023. Click the banner below to order your copy.

What self-defeating behaviors do you see in others? In yourself?

How might leaders stop shooting themselves in the foot?

Still curious:

4 Tools for Self-Reflection Every Leader Needs



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