July 2023 - Page 9 of 10

How to Bridge the Unseen Gap between Perception and Intent

Perception determines response. You respond to frowns differently than smiles, unless the smile seems disingenuous.

The way you’re perceived governs how people respond to you. This wouldn’t matter if leadership was done in isolation.

Self-perception often collides with the perception of others. You imagine yourself warm and fuzzy. You occur to others as stressed and manipulative.

Collisions of impact with intent:

My wife used to tell me I sounded harsh. My response, “I don’t have animosity in my heart.” Both of us were right.

The gap between impact and intent causes poor performance, personal frustration, self-pity, and discouragement. You feel frustrated others don’t ‘get’ you, or you feel sorry for yourself because you’re underappreciated.

Successful leaders work to align the impact of behaviors with intentions in the heart.

Perception:

I argued with my wife when she told me I was harsh. Now I see arguing about being harsh supported her observation that I seemed harsh.

The real you is less obvious than you think.

Tip: Those who argue with feedback like I did struggle to see themselves through the lens of others.

Principles:

You must see yourself as you occur to others to effectively develop your leadership.
Authenticity includes aligning behavior with heart.
Lousy leaders ignore the perceptions of others.
Feedback enables you to align impact with intention.

Seek feedback:

Invite a trusted colleague into your private reflections. Let them hear what you say about yourself to yourself. Explore how self-perceptions are disconnected from the way you occur to others.

7 things to say to seek feedback on other’s perceptions:

I’m proud of myself when I ______.
I’m disappointed in myself when I ______.
I’m really good at ______.
I’m most helpful to others when I ______.
I believe others think I’m ______.
I want to be known as ______.
Others believe I’m really good at ______.

In what ways have you seen the disconnection between intent and impact?

How might leaders better understand how they occur to others?

Still curious:

5 Ways to Spot Common Blind Spots

Positive Illusions: 7 Ways to Defeat The Lake Wobegon Effect

Seeing Yourself as Others See You (hbr.org)

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The Simplest Way To Improve Your Relationship

It increases relationship satisfaction and marriage solidity.

One of the simplest ways to improve your relationship is to enjoy more hugs and cuddles, research finds.

Couples who experience higher levels of non-sexual touch are more satisfied with their relationships.

Men, in particular, felt more satisfied with their relationships when they were shown more routine affection.

For women, affection through touch was still important, but low levels were linked to relationship dissatisfaction.

Ms Samantha Wagner, the study’s first author, said:

“There’s something specific about touch satisfaction that interplays with relationship satisfaction but not dissatisfaction for wives.”

The study included 184 couples who were interviewed about their relationship and how much affection they routinely showed towards each other.

The results revealed that more affection was linked to better relationships.

On top of this, couple’s satisfaction with non-sexual touch was also linked to having a more solid marriage.

Ms Wagner said:

“Interestingly, there’s some evidence that holding your partner’s hand while you’re arguing de-escalates the argument and makes it more productive.”

However, Ms Wagner warned that not everyone appreciates being touched.

Touch can mean different things to different people and in the wrong context can constitute abuse.

People with autism, for example, can find touch overwhelming.

Still, most people find touch comforting, especially in times of stress, said Ms Wagner:

“Feel free to give some extra snugs on the couch.

There’s plenty of evidence that suggests touch as a way to decrease stress.”

The pandemic has meant that many people cannot be as close to their loved ones as they would wish.

Healthcare workers, for example, may be quarantining themselves from their families.

Ms Wagner said:

“I think we should all hold the loved ones we can a little closer and be thoughtful of the struggles that others might be having because they can’t do just that.

If anything is true for me, a hug has become even more precious than it was before.”

The study was published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships (Wagner et al., 2020).

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How Content Marketing is Like a First Date

It’s Friday. You’re finally going out with that person you met online. You’ve been talking for weeks, and you’re excited to see them in person at last. The outfit you’ve chosen is perfect. That fresh haircut is serving you well. One spritz of perfume, and then you’re out the door.

Only, when you get to the bar, your date isn’t who you thought they were. They don’t look anything like their picture, you can’t get a word in edgewise, and you can’t get out of there fast enough.

Sound familiar? This kind of interaction is all too common in the dating world, and unfortunately, it happens a lot in the world of content marketing too.

5 Main Reasons Content Marketing is Like a First Date

Marketing is about building relationships. All too often, marketers treat it as an opportunity to hijack the conversation and aggressively pursue the customer. But this doesn’t work in dating and definitely won’t fly in marketing.

The goal of marketing and dating are the same: a long-term, mutually beneficial relationship. But more than that, there are five main reasons content marketing is like a first date.

Gradual Connection. Like two people on a first date, it takes time for your customers to get to know your business. Sharing openly and honestly is the only way to build that connection over time.
Fostering Engagement. Allowing your customers to join the conversation is crucial for making them feel valued. It’s like a conversation with a date where you ask them more about themselves.
Building Credibility. It takes time for people to believe and trust what you say. Credibility is built slowly by sharing valuable information in conversation or online content.
Gaining Trust. In dating and marketing, you have to share about yourself and show that your actions match your values before dates or that customers will trust you.
Succeeding with First Impressions. Your date wants to know they aren’t wasting their time with you, and your customers want to know they’ve come to the right business for the help they need. To reassure them, you need to give a good first impression that puts them at ease.

The similarities don’t end there, and there are many steps you can take in your content strategy, so your brand doesn’t get ghosted.

Understanding Gradual Connection

Long-term relationships are comfortable, but first dates can be anxiety-inducing and awkward. It can be difficult to find common ground and build a connection when you don’t know someone. The same is true of marketing and customer acquisition.

Your content needs to make a good first impression. When potential customers come to your website or see your social media posts, it’s about building a gradual connection with them. Here’s what you need to remember when it comes to that connection.

Building a Bond Takes Time

While love…

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How to Face Resistance to Your Great Ideas

When you face resistance:

#1. Relax.

Stress closes your mind.

#2. Don’t provide quick answers.

Explore their perspective. Seek input.

The worst thing you can do is answer resistance early in a conversation.

Quick answers create adversarial relationships.
Answers invite more objections when given to people who aren’t committed to move forward.
Answers frustrate people who struggle to find a path forward.

#3. Answer hot emotion before solving difficult problems.

Frustrated people cling to the status quo. Stress makes us stupid.

#4. Open up – don’t dig in.

When you feel resistance, get curious. Defensiveness defeats you. Ask curious questions with an open heart.

“Thanks for saying that. What brings this to mind for you?”
“What’s important to you about that?”
“What do you think we’re trying to accomplish by having this conversation?”
“I’m curious. Why are you asking?”
“Your thoughts are important to me. What’s your viewpoint on…?”
“I hear what you’re saying. What results are you working to achieve?”
“Thanks for your input. What else comes to mind?”
“It sounds like you have a viewpoint on this. What led you to your conclusions?”
“Let’s imagine we adopt your suggestion. What needs to be true for your suggestion to work?”
“What might make this idea more workable? Less workable?”
“What’s one argument in favor of this idea? What’s one argument against?”
“What alternatives might help us move forward, other than continuing to endure a dissatisfying situation?”

Soft landings:

Create a soft-landing strip for hard questions. The sentence before your question is a landing strip.

Explain an intention. “The reason I’m asking is….”
Practice gratitude. “Thanks for bringing this to my attention.”
Summarize. “Here’s what I think you said. Do you think I get it? If not, what am I missing?”
Notice the obvious. “It seems like you feel strongly about this.”

What are some reasons people resist new ideas?

How might leaders overcome resistance to new ideas?

Still curious:

How to Move from Stupid to Smart when You’re Stressed

Unraveling Resistance to Change

Why People Resist Change

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A Healthy Sign Of High IQ

It could be possible to increase your IQ.

Young adults who are fitter have a higher IQ and are more likely to go on to higher education, research finds.

Higher IQ is linked to a higher heart and lung capacity, not to muscular strength.

Heart and lung capacity was most strongly linked to verbal comprehension and logical thinking skills.

Professor Michael Nilsson, one of the study’s authors, said:

“Being fit means that you also have good heart and lung capacity and that your brain gets plenty of oxygen.

This may be one of the reasons why we can see a clear link with fitness, but not with muscular strength.

We are also seeing that there are growth factors that are important.”

The researchers found that the link is down to environmental factors, not genes.

In other words, it could be possible to increase your IQ by getting fitter.

Dr Maria Åberg, the study’s first author, said:

“We have also shown that those youngsters who improve their physical fitness between the ages of 15 and 18 increase their cognitive performance.

This being the case, physical education is a subject that has an important place in schools, and is an absolute must if we want to do well in maths and other theoretical subjects.”

The conclusions come from a study of 1.2 million Swedish men doing their military service, who were born between 1950 and 1976.

Another study have shown that two hours of extra physical activity per week can boost children’s performance in school (Käll et al., 2014).

Children doing more exercise doubled their chances of hitting national learning goals in that study.

The study was published in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences (Aberg et al., 2009).

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The Personality Trait That Could Extend Your Life

Survey of almost 30,000 people finds one personality trait consistently linked to longer life.

Being positive has been linked to living longer by research.

People lived longer if they were more:

optimistic about the future,
closer to other people,
decisive,
and felt more useful and relaxed.

Those who scored in the top sixth for being positive were 18% less likely to die over the next four years.

Other key factors linked to living longer included getting married and having a degree.

The results come from a survey of 28,662 people.

Both people’s mental health and their medical records were examined by the survey.

The people analysed in the survey had similar levels of physical health, income and other demographic characteristics.

Income, perhaps surprisingly, did not have an effect on the chance of dying.

Dr Christopher Jacobi, the study’s author, said:

“The results indicate that better positive mental health seems to have a somewhat protective effect against mortality.

In research literature the most frequently stated ways in which positive mental health is likely to affect mortality are via direct physiological responses such as lowered blood pressure, capacity to cope with stress, less drinking and smoking, an active lifestyle, and better sleep quality.

Likewise, people with high positive mental health might not be affected as severely by potentially negative symptomatic and physiological effects of life events like divorce or unemployment.”

Previous research has also revealed that both extroverts and optimists are more likely to live longer than introverts and pessimists.

As I wrote previously:

“Optimists have healthier hearts than pessimists, a study of over 51,000 adults finds.

Optimists also had healthier body mass indexes, were more physically active and less likely to smoke.

Researchers found that the more optimistic people were, the greater their overall physical health.

The most optimistic people were 76% more likely to have health scores that were in the ideal range.”

The study was presented at the British Sociological Association’s Medical Sociology conference in Birmingham on 8 Sept 2016.

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5 Ways Marketing Strategy Will Set You Free

Imagine this: You’re a marketer, and you’re constantly chasing the next big thing. You’re always on the lookout for the latest trend, the newest platform, the freshest idea. You’re running on a hamster wheel of “on-demand” marketing, and it’s exhausting.

You’re always reacting, never planning. You’re always behind, never ahead. Sound familiar?

Now, what if I told you there’s a better way? A way to break free from the relentless cycle of on-demand marketing and step into a world where you’re in control. A world where you’re not just reacting to the latest trend, but setting the trend.

A world where you’re not just keeping up, but leading the pack.

Welcome to the world of strategic marketing. A world where you set 90-day plans and watch as your marketing efforts become more efficient, more effective, and more freeing. A world where you’re not just a marketer, but a marketing revolutionary.

In this article, we’re going to explore five ways strategic marketing can set you free. We’re going to show you how to stop reacting and start planning. How to stop chasing and start leading. How to start your own marketing revolution.

Ready to break free? Let’s dive in.

Meet Hazel & Hems

Hazel & Hems Boutique: the customer avatar is a woman in her mid-20s to early 40s that has an eclectic taste in fashion, wants to stay up to date with the latest trends, and is also sensitive to sustainability and local business support.

Their core product is a locally sourced, polished stone bracelet that is affordable and only sold for limited time periods.

Hazel & Hems was created as a case study for us to explore the process of creating a brand from the ground up and everything that is involved with it. This was a building block for creating our Social Media Mastery Certification and Social Media Bootcamp.

#1. Crystal Ball Marketing: Anticipating Trends and Behavior

Strategic marketing allows you to anticipate market trends and customer behavior, reducing the element of surprise in your campaigns.

For example, Hazel & Hems, being a sustainable clothing boutique, could anticipate the rise in demand for sustainable fashion due to increasing environmental awareness.

By strategically planning their marketing around Earth Day, they could capitalize on this trend and drive more sales during this period.

#2. The Loyalty Loop: Keeping Customers Coming Back for More

By focusing on customer needs and satisfaction, strategic marketing can improve customer loyalty and retention.

Hazel & Hems could implement a loyalty program that rewards repeat customers with discounts or exclusive access to new collections.

They could also use email marketing to keep customers informed about new products, sales, and company news, keeping Hazel & Hems top of mind and encouraging repeat purchases.

#3. The Harmony of Branding: Consistent Messaging Across Platforms

A strategic plan ensures your marketing messages are…

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Get a Grip on the Power of Identity

When the grandchildren were little, I turned all the lights off and said, “Let’s play hide and seek with flash lights.” I’m the grandfather who rubbed growing powder on kids and they instantly grew about half an inch (.2 cm). I chose to be the whacky poppi.

Identity drives behavior:

We allow powerful people to interrupt and talk down to us. We expect authorities to provide answers and give directions.

When authoritative leaders ask questions, team members feel uncomfortable. They think, “You know what you want, just tell us.” They don’t want to give answers to the person who is designated as the answer person.

Self-perception drives self-expression:

The way you identify your role defines success. Parents feel responsible to provide. When your role is protector you become a control freak. When you identify as a leader who develops others you coach more and give direction less.

Choose your Identity:

I chose my poppi identity. We choose our leadership identity. You might choose to be an encouraging leader. That choice influences the nature of your interactions. You set yourself on a path when you choose to be a results-driven leader. You have a mental image of a leader who gets results and you conform your behaviors to that image.

Align the identity you choose with your personality, talents, abilities, and knowledge. Most importantly, align your identity with your vision of your best self.

Authentic leadership begins when identity drives behavior. Who you perceive yourself to be finds expression in what you do.

When you ask yourself, “What kind of leader do you aspire to become?” you’re asking a deeper question. “Who do you aspire to become?” Don’t simply be yourself. Become your best self.

What blocks people from becoming their best self?

How to we become authentic?

Still curious:

Self-Perception Determines How You Lead

4 Tools for Self-Reflection Every Leader Needs

What Is Authentic Leadership?

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The Personality Trait That Marks Out Selfless Heroes (M)

Kidney donors may incur considerable expense and undergo painful surgery even without knowing the organ’s recipient. Why do they do it?

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The Simple Linguistic Sign Of A Healthy Relationship

It is linked to higher relationship satisfaction, more positive relationship behaviours, better mental, physical health and even better health behaviours.

Using the pronouns “we” and “us” is linked to having a healthier and happier relationship, research finds.

Couples who use “we” and “us” are signalling their interdependence.

Talking like this means a couple are more likely to be closer in how they think, feel and act.

It also suggests they can rely on each other for support.

Interdependence is particularly important at times of stress and conflict.

The conclusion comes from an analysis of 30 studies including a total of over 5,000 people.

Mr Alexander Karan, the study’s first author, said:

“By examining all these studies together, they let us see the bigger picture.

We-talk is an indicator of interdependence and general positivity in romantic relationships.”

The results showed that ‘we-talk’ was linked to higher relationship satisfaction, more positive relationship behaviours, better mental, physical health and even better health behaviours.

Mr Karan said:

“The benefit of analyzing many different couples in a lot of different contexts is that it establishes we-talk isn’t just positively related in one context, but that it indicates positive functioning overall.”

The question, said Dr Megan Robbins, study co-author, is what comes first, the ‘we-talk’ or a good relationship:

“It is likely both.

Hearing yourself or a partner say these words could shift individuals’ ways of thinking to be more interdependent, which could lead to a healthier relationship.

It could also be the case that because the relationship is healthy and interdependent, the partners are being supportive and use we-talk.”

The study was published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships (Karan et al., 2018).

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