Noticing: The Gift that Keeps on Giving

Noticing: The Gift that Keeps on Giving

We recently ate at a busy restaurant in Chicago. Staff bustled but didn’t hurry. I asked if we could sit outside for dinner. The hostess spotted a table, hustled over to clean it, and seated us in two shakes of a lamb’s tail.

During dinner, my wife and I noticed the hostess seating people, cleaning tables, and serving food. She hustled around like she owned the place.

She checked in with us just as our dessert arrived.

Smiley balloon on beach It's easy to notice things you don't see every day.

“You’re doing a marvelous job,” I said. “It looks like you do everything here. What’s your job?”

She lit up and said, “I’m the manager. I can’t let my team down. Thank you for noticing.” We chatted briefly. She hustled away smiling.

The next morning, we saw a bizarre exchange while we ate breakfast in the same restaurant.

A normal looking woman approached a member of the restaurant staff, but looks are deceiving. We couldn’t hear her complaint, but she was unhappy with a capital UN.

The exchange ended with the woman carrying a pitcher of water out of the restaurant. A few minutes later she returned with a half full pitcher and had some final words for the same staff person. I decided to bring it up.

“It looked like you had a bizzare exchange with that woman.”

He chuckled and said, “We see some pretty strange things here.”

I said, “Well, you handled it wonderfully.”

He smiled brightly and said, “Thank you for noticing.”

Noticing:

It’s easy to notice things you don’t see every day.

We don’t notice the people we see every day. But the energy and effort of high performance is the same whether you’re seeing it for the first time or the hundredth.

Things that go unnoticed lose value.

The best thing about noticing is it’s disproportionately powerful and cost effective.

Who should you notice today?



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Self-Consciousness: Solving the Hidden Hinderance to Enjoyment and Performance

Self-Consciousness: Solving the Hidden Hinderance to Enjoyment and Performance

The more energy you expend worrying about yourself, the less energy you have to make a difference in the world.

Self-consciousness drains energy, enjoyment, and effectiveness.

Self-consciousness is your inner voice telling you that people don’t like you, you’re not good enough, or you’re going to screw up.

Mother duck watching over ducklings. Gently shift your attention to something bigger than yourself.

Self-aware or self-conscious:

Self-awareness is healthy and useful. Self-consciousness is harmful and limiting. The difference is judgement.

Self-awareness notices and responds without condemnation. Self-consciousness is criticism.

Freedom from self-consciousness:

Self-consciousness is mental focus.

Gently shift your attention to something bigger than yourself.

#1. Curiosity.

Curiosity about others is one way to shift from focusing on yourself to serving others.

#2. Focus.

Imagine tasks and responsibilities are screaming children. Let your attention go to the most important child.

Focus on the most important task at hand.

Your inner critic quiets a little when you direct your focus to an important task that’s outside yourself.

#3. Self-awareness.

Notice self-consciousness, but don’t beat yourself down when you do. Say, “Ah, I’m being self-conscious. Where do I want to shift my focus?”

#4. Engage.

Engagement is essential for fulfillment. Self-conscious leaders never enjoy leading because self-consciousness is disengagement.

Engagement and self-consciousness don’t coexist. As self-consciousness goes up, engagement goes down. How can you DO something meaningful? Why is it meaningful?

Self-forgetfulness is part of making a difference in the world.

How does self-consciousness hold back leaders?

How might people overcome self-consciousness?

Making the Most of Dissatisfaction

Learned Optimism



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One Simple Way to Motivate Your Team

Many leaders are good at the business side of things. They’re able to hit their goals, and they might even be decent at profit. But, unfortunately, many leaders don’t prioritize their people. And when this is the case, morale tends to be low, turnover is high, and the business suffers. The cost is too great.

I’ve found that one simple way of turning this around is noticing the everyday contributions of others. In fact, with some intentionality and a little bit of creativity, you can transform your team’s culture by celebrating achievements together.

This might feel awkward at first. The word celebration might even bring to mind a party or other large event that requires more planning and budgeting than you can employ right away. But celebration doesn’t always have to be a big to-do.

Here is one thing you can begin now, and it doesn’t cost a thing.

Affirmation

When you pull back from all the responsibilities and tasks, we’re all just people with hearts, dreams, and aspirations. Everyone likes to receive recognition for their efforts. It’s something we all need. Verbal affirmation is the easiest way to do that. When you notice a team member doing something good, catch them in the moment and tell them right away.

The best place to offer affirmation is in front of others. Whether it’s in a team meeting, over email, or in Slack, the more publicly you affirm your team the bigger impact your words will have. Alternatively, there’s nothing like a thoughtful, handwritten note. Not only does it communicate that you care, but also that you took the time to say something sincere.

Calling out major wins, like quarterly goals or successful project launches, may be obvious. But noticing the more regular—and more mundane—contributions of your team goes a lot further than you might think. This doesn’t come naturally to all leaders. That’s okay. Keep it simple and slowly begin developing the habit. Remember, you’ll receive more of what you affirm. When you celebrate the efforts and contributions from your team, they’ll push for more.

So stay alert for praiseworthy moments. Set time aside on your calendar to write thank-you notes. Before you know it, other team members will follow your lead and begin affirming each other’s efforts as well. Then watch your culture change.

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The Lost Art of Keeping Your Word

The chasm between “promises made” and “promises kept” seems to keep widening. Consider:

How many times have you unsubscribed from emails and continued to receive them?

     I’ve noticed that a high number of “unsubscribes” are illusionary.

How often have you met with a vendor who promised a quote or proposal that you never heard from again?

     We’ve all had that experience of wasted time, for me, more than I care to remember.

When was the last time somebody said, “I’ll get that to you,” and then didn’t?

     Recently? It happens too often.

A company uses a pre-recorded message to explain their commitment to customers when you reach their automated customer help system.

     But the system wears you out with prompts, takes an egregiously long time and then cuts you off before you get the needed help.

A prospect requests a product be overnighted but when you call to make sure they received it, they don’t return your call.

     How hard is it to say, “Got it, thanks”?

Another potential client asks you to tentatively hold a date for an engagement. As the date approaches you call and email to confirm that they still want the date yet you can’t get a response of any kind.

     A simple email saying, “No thanks, we’ve changed our mind,” would have prevented much aggravation and wasted time.

If someone starts to talk about people not keeping their word, they sound like prehistoric throwbacks. Yet while I’ve not seen hard data, I’d wager that the keeping of one’s word is ill if not on life support. If I tally the number of times people I encounter don’t do what they say they will, I get nearly depressed.

Some behaviors go out of style or become displaced by better options. Keeping your word isn’t one of them.

Integrity as I like to remind myself and others is the distance between your lips and your life. Don’t make promises you can’t or won’t keep. Dedicate yourself to saying what you will do and then doing it.

Keeping your word has always mattered, still matters and always will. 

 

Mark Sanborn is an award winning speaker and Leadership Expert in Residence at High Point University, the Premier Life Skills University. For more information about his work, visit www.marksanborn.com.  He also helps professional speakers and execs creates superior digital presentations. Learn more here

P.S. Fred the Postman was a master of keeping his word. You might want to be a “Fred?” Find out why and how here.

Author: Mark Sanborn

Mark holds the Certified Speaking Professional designation from the National Speakers Association (NSA) and is a member of the Speaker Hall of Fame. He was recently honored with the Cavett Award, the highest honor the NSA bestows on its members, in recognition of his outstanding contributions to the speaking profession. In 2020, Global Gurus named Mark the #5 Leadership Authority in the world.

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The Gift that Taught Me Something New About Selling

My first experience selling was in college when I helped promote success rallies for a now long-time friend. After graduation I held sales positions in the magazine publishing business. I was never the top performer but I learned to sell well. I’ve learned from direct experience and continue to be a student of selling. 

Sales lessons are everywhere if you pay attention, and my latest came from receiving a gift.

A woman approached me after I’d spoken to a professional organization and presented me with a wrapped gift. “Everyone needs one of these.” That was the best opening line I can recall for a yet unknown item. I then opened the box to find a small metal liquid container that could be used for any number of things. It was small enough to be convenient, large enough to be useful, waterproof to inspire confidence, high quality in its appearance, and aesthetically pleasing.

I thanked the woman for her generosity and she continued:

“I’ve admired your work and wanted to connect with you for some time. This bottle is incredibly useful and now that you have it, you’ll find yourself using it frequently. And you’ll agree with me that everyone needs one.”

She wasn’t selling me the bottle as it was a gift. She was selling me on the value of the bottle. A gift that is desired is far better than a gift that is simply accepted.

Her positioning and explanation of the gift gave me quick insight into her professionalism. She was thoughtful. She didn’t give me some swag that I’d discard later. 

I have and use that container. It is practical, and I need it now (even though I didn’t know I needed it until I met the giver).

“Everybody sells” is a cliche and like most cliches, at least partially true. The important question is, “Sells what?”

My new friend wanted to make a connection, and she did it by giving a simple but not insignificant gift. I learned that we don’t want what everybody has, we want what everybody needs. If you can convince your potential buyer that they really need what you sell, and then deliver on that promise, you’ll find exceptional success.

Sure, everybody sells. But what do you sell? And how can you convince others that what you sell is something that everybody really needs.

And here are two things you really need: the ability to turn ordinary into extraordinary. Here’s where you can learn how to do it: www.FredFactor.com.

And if you give digital presentations as part of your work, you need to know how to do that very well. Visit Virtual Presentations Institute for comprehensive training and certification.

 

Mark Sanborn is an award winning speaker and Leadership Expert in Residence at High Point University, the Premier Life Skills University. For more information about his work, visit www.marksanborn.com. 

 

Author: Mark Sanborn

Mark holds the Certified Speaking Professional designation from the National Speakers Association (NSA) and is a member of the…

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Free Speech at Work – Should Discussions of Politics be Banned

Free Speech at Work – Should Discussions of Politics be Banned

70% of Americans would support companywide policies that limit the discussion of politics in the workplace or with colleagues. Harris

Fist punching the screen. Beware the inconsistency of a

Free speech and context:

Political speech seems natural when your organization connects deeply to an issue and awkward otherwise.

Abortion is relevant when you work for Planned Parenthood or the National Right to Life. But if you’re a construction company in Louisiana, what’s the point?

If you work for a gun manufacturer, discussing gun regulation is fair game. But if your company makes baby food, advocating for gun rights – as an organization – seems distracting.

Discussing taxes is universally relevant.

Issues and organizations:

Discussing voting laws in Georgia when your organizational footprint is in the Northeast is an unnecessary distraction.

It’s true that some customers might not do business with you if you don’t have a position on important topics, but most just want you to deliver a quality product at a competitive price.

Drive a stake in the ground for yourself. Chic-fil-A doesn’t open on Sunday. They aren’t protesting when other companies open on Sunday.

Free speech at work:

All companies already limit speech. You can’t swear at customers, for example.

Expect people to act like adults. That means respect difference. But respect may not include liking. You might not like the right to bear arms, but it’s legal within limits.

The world grows violent when people hate each other because of difference.

Just because you can doesn’t mean it’s wise.

Tolerance:

Everyone is intolerant. The issue is where you draw the line. People who brag about tolerance can’t tolerate intolerance. Beware the inconsistency of a “tolerant” person forcing others into conformity.

Do your best to live in harmony with everyone.

Organizations have the right to limit speech that violates values.

Perhaps guidelines for sexual harassments have some application to political speech?

What suggestions do you have regarding political speech at work?



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