A Delightful Accident – Leadership Freak

A Delightful Accident

I like soft fudge. A little softer than Play-Doh is perfect.

Closed minds congeal. Openness is the path to unexpected delight. Image of a wide-eyed dog.Closed minds congeal. Openness is the path to unexpected delight. Image of a wide-eyed dog.

The original maker of Play-Doh was a soap company, Kutol Products. It was used for 20 years to clean wallpaper. It’s use by children was a delightful accident.

Kay Zufall was an elementary school teacher. Her students loved Kutol’s wallpaper cleaner, but not because it cleaned wallpaper. They used it as molding clay. It was a delightful accident that Kay Zufall was the sister-in-law of Joseph McVicker.

In 1948 Joseph took over Kutol Products after his dad died. Demand for wallpaper cleaner went to the basement. The company was going under.

In 1955 Kay Zufall convinced her brother-in-law that wallpaper cleaner was a children’s toy. That’s when Kutol Products began selling Play-Doh to Elementary Schools as molding clay. Everything changed for Kutol when Play-Doh was used on the most popular children’s TV show in the US.

Captain Kangaroo began using Play-Doh at least once a week on his children’s show. Sales blew out the walls. It’s estimated more than 2 billion cans of Play-Doh have been sold. (History of Play-Doh)

Mom's fudge was a delightful accident. It was so good because she cooked it wrong. Image of soft fudge.Mom's fudge was a delightful accident. It was so good because she cooked it wrong. Image of soft fudge.

A delightful accident:

My disposition toward soft fudge began with my mom. Every Christmas we ate mom’s fudge with a spoon, right out of the pan. It was so good because she cooked it wrong. The Internet says she didn’t cook it long enough.

You might think mom’s fudge was a mistake. I think it was perfect. Hardheads think accidents are failures. Instead of adapting we cling to established expectations and methods. Thankfully, most of us soften up eventually.

When things don’t turn out as expected, create new expectations. Wallpaper cleaner might be a children’s toy and fudge with a spoon might be the best. A closed mind is a dead end.

Closed minds congeal. Openness is the path to unexpected delight.

Try stuff. Ask questions. Explore possibilities.

Enjoy delightful accidents.

How can you get the most from accidents?

Why I Admire Frosty and You Should Too

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What it Means to be “A Good Person” in Business

Thanks to the popular clothing line, you’ve probably seen this shirt admonishing anyone who sees it to be a good person. (What exactly it means to be a good person takes much more than a sentence to explain or understand, but It is a nice sentiment.) I’m not sure how many bad people are converted when they see the shirt but it is at least a good reminder.

There are many ways to be a good person, but how might that apply in the world of business and work?

“He is a good person” or “She is a good person.” When I say that about someone I’m doing business with, that is high praise so I’ll explain what I mean:

First, a good person is good at what they do. They are competent and more. They know the work they do, and they do it well consistently.

Second, they are good at who they are. They have a good heart. They are civil, kind and caring. It goes beyond courteous, which can be done rotely. Their demeanor demonstrates that they have a positive disposition toward the people they work with and serve.

Simple, yes. But increasing, these two things seem to be an uncommon combination. 

I encounter nice people who can’t or won’t do their jobs. If they can’t, shame on their employer for having them in the wrong role or not providing the right training. If they won’t, shame on them for thinking that being nice is enough and gives them a free pass from the need to be competent.

Then there is the competent person who gets the job done which makes you happy, but when you no longer have to interact with them you are even happier. They lack humanity. You don’t get a sense of warmth, of being nice. Their basic orientation communicates that it is only about the job, not the people they interact with.

If you’re an employer, you want to find and hire the good person. If you’ve got competent employees, you need to focus on not just the job they do but how they do it and how they make people feel. If you’ve got nice people not getting the job done, help them become competent or free them to pursue other opportunities where they can be both courteous and competent.

If you’re a leader, service rep, sales professional–whatever you do–focus on both the job your do and the humanity you bring to your interactions with others. Not only will you be more valued and appreciated, but you’ll likely find that a better way to do business that enriches your life, too.

Be a good person wherever and whenever you can, but start by being a good person at work.

 

Mark Sanborn is an award winning speaker, leadership strategist and Leadership Expert in Residence at High Point University, the Premier Life Skills University. He also advises executives and professional speakers on how to speak more powerfully. For more information about his work,…

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3 Ways to Trust Yourself

3 Ways to Trust Yourself

Learn to not trust yourself.

Nobel Prize winner Daniel Kahneman teaches you can’t trust yourself.

“… we can be blind to the obvious, and we are also blind to our blindness.”

Trusting yourself is reliable when addressing personal values. Other than that, don’t trust yourself. Self-distrust protects you from cognitive bias.

Don’t trust yourself most of the time.

Don't trust yourself. Don't trust yourself.

Daniel Kahneman quotes:

“Our comforting conviction that the world makes sense rests on a secure foundation: our almost unlimited ability to ignore our ignorance.”

“The confidence that individuals have in their beliefs depends mostly on the quality of the story they can tell about what they see, even if they see little.”

“We are prone to overestimate how much we understand about the world and to underestimate the role of chance in events.”

“The illusion that we understand the past fosters overconfidence in our ability to predict the future.”

“An unbiased appreciation of uncertainty is a cornerstone of rationality–but it is not what people and organizations want.”

“Nothing in life is as important as you think it is while you are thinking about it.”

3 ways to trust yourself:

#1. Practice confident self-doubt.

Consistently whisper to yourself, “I could be wrong.” or, “They could be right.”

#2. Summarize your position before discussion.

Before teams discuss an issue, ask each member to write a summary of their position. “The standard practice of open discussions gives too much weight to the opinions of those who speak early and assertively, causing others to line up behind them.” Kahneman

3. Develop three options.

Eliminate the practice of binary decisions. “Yes or no,” speeds simple decisions. Decisions become choices when you develop several options.

“… when faced with a difficult question, we often answer an easier one instead, usually without noticing the substitution.” Kahneman

How might people practice healthy self-doubt?

Self-Deception: Feeling Right and Being Wrong

Why Leaders Don’t Think Straight

Thinking, Fast and Slow, Daniel Kahneman

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16 Practical Ways to be an Inspirational Leader

16 Practical Ways to be an Inspirational Leader

An inspirational leader doesn’t simply make things happen. They release others to make things happen.

Frustrated leaders don’t know how to inspire.

An inspirational leader is fascinated with others. Image of a child playing peek-a-boo.An inspirational leader is fascinated with others. Image of a child playing peek-a-boo.

Inspirational leaders listen:

Self-absorbed leaders suck the life out of organizations. Inspirational leaders are fascinated with others.

Be others-absorbed if you want to be an inspirational leader.

We talk when we experience the slightest veneer or insight. Perceived knowledge loosens tongues. Fools believe they understand when they don’t and blab when listening is called for.

If you love talking, help others talk. Ask questions.

Baltasar Gracian (1601-1658) wrote, “Well said is soon said. He didn’t mean talk first. He meant stop talking quickly. Baltasar also wrote, “Good things when short are twice as good.”

Insight is displayed in brevity. The more you talk, the less you inspire.

Inspirational leaders give voice to their heart. Image of tin cans being used as a phone.Inspirational leaders give voice to their heart. Image of tin cans being used as a phone.

16 ways to be an inspirational leader:

  1. Seek guidance before certainty.
  2. Maintain openness and interest after you make up your mind. Weak minds close; strong open.
  3. Avoid that “can’t wait till you stop talking” look.
  4. Speak well of others.
  5. Give voice to your heart.
  6. Tell stories about your teachers. Don’t tell me what you know. Tell me what you’ve been taught.  
  7. Change your mind after reflection. Wishy-washy is exhausting. Maintain focus.
  8. Evaluate your self-reflections. Self-deception is seen slowly.
  9. Receive correction gratefully.
  10. Remain cool when things get hot. Understanding inspires with calmness during turbulence.
  11. Practice realistic optimism. Real optimists don’t believe hard is easy. Inspirational leaders believe in our ability to rise up.
  12. Give people time to say things they really believe. The first things people say usually aren’t the most important.
  13. Stand firm with grace rather than anger. Weakness bullies.
  14. Never take advantage of those without power. Inspirational leaders are trustworthy because they seek the best interest of others.
  15. Read. Ask an inspirational leader what they’re reading and their eyes light up.
  16. Appreciate the wonder, privilege, and mystery of leadership.

What type of leader inspires you?

Still curious:

The Listening Sandwich and Inspiring Others

How to Be an Inspiring

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10 Dos and 7 Don’ts for Mentoring Millennials

10 Dos and 7 Don’ts for Mentoring Millennials

Meaningful work is part of meaningful living for people ages 26 to 41*. Mentoring Millennials is changing lives, not simply equipping workers.

Mentoring Millennials is changing lives, not simply equipping workers. Image of online mentor.Mentoring Millennials is changing lives, not simply equipping workers. Image of online mentor.

Characteristics of Millennials:

  1. Love meaningful work.
  2. Resist hierarchy and boundaries created by status.
  3. Value relationships more than position.
  4. Open to change. Adaptive in approach.
  5. Crave flexibility.
  6. Care about quality more than productivity.
  7. Yearn to learn and grow.
  8. Appreciate daily and weekly feedback. Don’t wait for annual reviews.
  9. Provide creative options. Love to share opinions.
  10. Place importance on collaboration.

Mentoring makes life richer for everyone. Image of aged journals.Mentoring makes life richer for everyone. Image of aged journals.

Dos and don’ts for mentoring Millennials:

10 Dos:

  1. Speak the truth. Coddling promotes entitlement. Provide forward-facing feedback.
  2. Show respect. You aren’t better-than because you have experience.
  3. Honor talent and skills.
  4. Take the perspective of others. See the world through the lens of others when you want to influence others.
  5. Lighten up. Let yourself be happy. Laugh. Have fun.
  6. Provide space for commitments. You can’t coerce people into change. Those who aren’t committed find fault. Those who are committed find a way.
  7. Challenge thinking. Ignite imagination. Use variety.
  8. Notice and speak to their values.
  9. Leverage interest in teamwork. Mentoring a Millennial is opportunity to develop and strengthen collaboration.
  10. Connect on a personal level.

7 Don’ts:

  1. Meddle or micromanage.
  2. Rely on giving orders without reasons. Mentoring Millennials includes reasons and purpose.
  3. Overuse corrective feedback. Correct clearly but enable and equip more.
  4. Resent their need for time with you.
  5. Misjudge desire to advance for entitlement.
  6. Fear using technology. Mentoring Millennials online works for them.
  7. Talk down.

“A mentor is someone who sees more talent and ability within you, than you see in yourself, and helps bring it out of you.” Bob Proctor

What are you learning about mentoring?

Inspiration for this post comes from:

Rediscovering the Joy of Mentoring

Where Millennials end and Generation Z begins

10 Common Characteristics of the Millennial Generation

Mentoring Millennials

The Mentor’s Guide, by Zachary and Fain

*Age range is true in 2022.

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5 Ways to Use Success to Create Success

5 Ways to Use Success to Create Success

Easy wins are like cotton candy, sweet and fleeting. Worthwhile achievements are hard won. You create success with focused action done consistently.

Good fortune might contribute to success, but sweat is the winner’s strategy.

How can you use past success to create success?

Smart people use success to create success. Image of a person having an idea.Smart people use success to create success. Image of a person having an idea.

Formulas to create success:

You know the formula for success after you succeed, not before.  

Successful people don’t know why they’re more successful than others. Some believe their press releases. Others explain generic factors like goals, hard work, vision, belief, talent, and good fortune.

Ask successful people for their formula to create success and they make up something based on their actions.

5 practices that use success to create success:

#1. Begin with yourself.

Success expresses who you are becoming.

  • What do you know that you didn’t know last year?
  • Think back to the beginning of your journey. What’s different about you today?
  • What are you doing to fuel personal growth today?
  • Who do you need to become to achieve your vision?

#2. Reflect on small success.

Everyone succeeds at something. Disappointment with small success blocks learning.

#3. Clarify intentions.

  • What intentions most contributed to past successes?
  • How might those same intentions contribute to future success? Are they too small?
  • What intentions might hold you back?

#4. Tap into imagination.

  • Reflect on past success and imagine new. Imagination precedes action.
  • Set a goal and imagine yourself doing things to achieve it.

Imagine new behaviors to enjoy new success.

The success you strive to achieve languishes behind actions you haven't tried. Image of a hand bursting through a wall.The success you strive to achieve languishes behind actions you haven't tried. Image of a hand bursting through a wall.

#5. Focus on behaviors.

  • What three behaviors most contributed to small successes?
  • How might those same behaviors contribute to future success?
  • How might past behaviors hold you back?

Success tip:

The success you strive to achieve languishes behind actions you haven’t tried. You get the same results when you do the same things.

How do past successes equip you to create success?

Still curious:

What’s More Important to Success than Leadership Skills

The path to success is not a straight line

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6 Ways to Honor Your Future Now

6 Ways to Honor Your Future Now

#1. Honor your future by letting yourself be happy.

Develop the habit of happiness. We all choose happiness or misery. Circumstances have little to do with it. Besides, you’ll be better looking in the future if you’re happy now.

Let yourself be happy in an imperfect world. The future will be like today, imperfect.

Life is filled with small things. Waiting for big happy things means you’ll be unhappy most of the time. Let yourself be happy in daily rituals, casual interactions, and lunch.

Honor your future by letting yourself by happy. Image of a happy dog.Honor your future by letting yourself by happy. Image of a happy dog.

#2. Honor your future by respecting the future.

Don’t do anything that harms your future self.

Will your older-self thank your younger-self?

#3. Honor your future by doing hard stuff.

Things that are hard now become harder in the future. If you think going to the gym is hard now, wait till you have white hair.

#4. Honor your future by building relationships.

Build relationships before you need them.

Who do you want in your life when shadows get long, and seas get rough?

You live your reputation today. Image of a five star rating.You live your reputation today. Image of a five star rating.

#5. Honor your future by living your future.

Be the person you hope to become. How would you like to be known in the future? You’re living your reputation now.

Honor the past by remembering. Honor the present by acting. Honor your future by living it today.

#6. Honor your future by overcoming the tyranny of the urgent.

You won’t like where you’re going until you stop chasing urgencies.

5 things are necessary to live by priorities.

  1. Know what matters.
  2. Respect your potential.
  3. Align action with your talent.
  4. Appreciate the difference between good things and great things.
  5. Set goals and make plans. The purpose of plans is to know how to live today.

Today is the consequence of yesterday’s behaviors.

How do we dishonor the future?

What items might you add to the above list?

Still curious:

5 Steps to Making Habits that Create Your Future

Four Steps to Building a Better Future

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Stop Asking Dangerous Questions Before the New Year

Stop Asking Dangerous Questions Before the New Year

I think about the new year with a sense of urgency, even though its arrival is no surprise. Disappointments and successes come to mind. Then I ask myself, “What do I want to do next year?” I can’t get away from that question because everyone asks me. But it’s a dangerous question.

Doing stuff matters but it’s a soothing distraction, an obstacle to the life you aspire to enjoy.

Think about the new year in terms of becoming. Image of hands forming a clay pot.Think about the new year in terms of becoming. Image of hands forming a clay pot.

Thinking about the new year:

Think about the new year in terms of becoming before you think about doing. The most important question to ask is, “Who do I aspire to become?” not, “What do I want to do?”. Begin with values.

Ask, “What’s important to me?” before you choose something to do. Always include ‘to me’ with the question. Don’t let others define your values.

The richest possible life is meaningful. Reflect on contribution. What contributions energize you?

Meaningful goals include doing things for and with others. Self-serving goals might be fun but can’t scratch your need to matter. It’s not how much you do, it’s how much you contribute that matters.

Who you become is more important than what you do. Image of pottery being formed.Who you become is more important than what you do. Image of pottery being formed.

Pursue meaning, not happiness, to experience enduring fulfillment.

Think about the new year in terms of energy. Follow your energy. Forget about the things you’re supposed to do so you can identify things that energize your brain and bring rest to your spirit. You might make a list of things that energize you and look for patterns.

Reflect on values, contribution, meaning and energy before you ask the dangerous question, “What do I want to do next year?”.

Set goals that reflect the person you aspire to become.

Set goals that pull you forward. Things you dread lose their charm and turn into failures.

Who you become is more important than what you do.

What points of reflection serve you in this season?

Still curious:

Rethink Your New Year’s Resolution Before it’s too Late

4 Ways to Lead Yourself into a New Year

Six reasons why your New Year resolutions don’t work

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How to Make Goals Come to Life

How to Make Goals Come to Life

Set a goal to run five times a week for a year. Or commit to run a marathon in six months. Running a marathon is a reason. A goal comes to life when you give it a reason.

We run in circles when goals don’t pull us forward.

Goals are affliction apart from reasons.

Reasons are magnets. Running a marathon is a magnet. Going to the gym is a goal. Living to reach a goal is good. Living for a reason is richer.

What goals come to mind when you choose to live for a celebration. Image of a person raising a fist in the air.What goals come to mind when you choose to live for a celebration. Image of a person raising a fist in the air.

Reasons before goals:

Don’t set an arbitrary goal. Arbitrary goals, even good ones, add weight to life. Set a goal after you choose something meaningful to accomplish.

Cutting costs by 7% is a random goal. Choosing not to lay off people during lean times is motivation to cut costs.

What’s the point of hitting targets when the only reason to hit targets is hitting targets?

Meaningful reasons:

  1. Fuel energy.
  2. Explain pursuit.
  3. Strengthen cohesion.
  4. Enable sacrifice.

How to make goals come to life:

Imagine a year like none other. Joy exceeded expectation. Your hands are raised in victory. Imagine you arrive at the end of the year dancing with ecstasy. Let yourself sink into feelings of jubilation, victory, and pride.

Now imagine you’re surrounded by people who love you. Their hands are raised. They’re chanting like you won the World Cup. Who are those people? Make a list of names.

What did you do that made them wildly excited for you? What are they saying you accomplished?

What goals come to mind when you choose to live for a celebration?

What gives life to a goal?

Still curious:

If you were Magnificent

7 Powers of Life Purpose

8 Types of Motivation

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On the Frustration of Waiting

On the Frustration of Waiting

Your relationship with waiting impacts the quality of your life. Life is long periods of waiting punctuated by moments of completion.

Waiting turns me into a caged animal. An annual physical nearly puts me in the hospital. My pulse is 95 and my palms sweat. Anxiety is a response to delay. If you’ve ever applied for a job or interviewed for a promotion you probably hate waiting.

Delayed flights drive people crazy. When flight attendants ask passengers to stay in their seats so people who need to make a connection can deplane, everyone gets up.

To be good at life you have to be good at waiting. Image of a surfer waiting for a wave.To be good at life you have to be good at waiting. Image of a surfer waiting for a wave.

Facets of waiting:

Dread is a painful form of waiting that causes procrastination. Putting things off prolongs pain.

Expectancy is a joyful form of waiting even though it’s frustrating sometimes. Pregnancy includes anticipation and anxiety. Expectancy infuses joy into life.

The weeks before Christmas are better than Christmas day. Trees, lights, and music provide frivolous amusement. Songs like Rudolf and Frosty are goofy. The deeper advantage of Christmas or any holiday are the days before they arrive. Apart from anticipation, a holiday is like any other day.

To be good at life you have to be good at letting things go. Image of a child blowing on a dandelion. To be good at life you have to be good at letting things go. Image of a child blowing on a dandelion.

How to wait well:

Our attitude while we wait reflects the way we think about ourselves. Confidence waits better than insecurity.

To be good at life you have to be good at letting things go.

Preparation infuses wait-time with meaning. The more you prepare, the more meaning you create. My wife prepared for nearly a year before taking the two-day CPA exam.

Lift up your head and notice glory. The world is filled with glory. Even people are glorious.

Always show up to serve. Seek to make life better everywhere you go, even when you wait.

To be good at life you have to be good at waiting.

What does it mean to wait well?

Still curious:

How to Answer the Voice in Your Head that Creates Things You Dread

Impatient to Get Rid of Anxiety? Impatience Causes Anxiety

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