Leadership Archives - Page 24 of 89

Set Relationship Goals When Employee Retention Matters

Employee retention is a misguided goal when leaders neglect relationships.

Retention is about relationships. It’s normal to set results goals. It’s leadership to set relationship goals.

How can you make working with you delightful, even in high stress environments?

Goals for enabling retention through relationship:

#1. Encourage belonging goals.

Know and celebrate the top strengths of everyone on the team.
Assign projects based on strengths.
Honor difference. Diversity is meaningless if everyone is the same.
Listen without judgement.
Say, “Tell me more,” regularly.

#2. Demonstrate support goals.

Ask, “How can I help?”
Practice empathy. Reflect on what it’s like to sit across from you.
Reflect on times you felt supported. How can you practice those behaviors with others?
Honor initiative and effort.

#3. Elevate purpose goals.

Share customer stories.
Speak about mission regularly. What’s the mission of your organization? Your team? How can you talk about it regularly?
Connect values with work. How do daily tasks and goals reflect the values of your organization?
Create opportunities for team members to build relationships with each other.

#4. Build trust goals.

Share lessons you’ve learned from mistakes.
Give honest, forward-facing feedback with respect and optimism.
Hold yourself accountable.

#5. Remember personal information goals.

Speak people’s names with kindness in your voice.
Bring up family in conversation.
Ask about important experiences.

#6. Show respect goals.

When high performers set aggressive goals, occasionally suggest they lighten up on themselves.
Notice when their eyes go bright.
Support growth and development.

#7. Share authority goals.

Ask competent people, “If you made this decision, what would you do next?” Follow with, “That sounds great. Go for it.”
Try the ‘Intend to’ method.
Delegate to people striving to get ahead.

Bonus: Have fun.

What relationship-focused goals can you develop for yourself today (Based on this post)?

What connection do you see between relationships and retention?

Still curious:

My Best Relationship Advice for Leaders

How to Build Real Relationships at Work (hbr.org)

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My Problem: A Bag of Left-Footed Socks

Shopping is exhilarating. I go once or twice a decade at least.

Thoughts of buying new jeans feel as delightful as an angry skunk encounter. I’m still recovering from my bi-decade trip to the outlets in the Poconos. It was a stretch, but I bought a bag of ASICS low cut running socks. I don’t run, but running socks make me feel fit.

The Problem:

It took about four weeks for life to feel normal after our shopping safari. Then I noticed an “L” inside one sock. The other sock had an “L” too!

“They got mismatched in the laundry,” I thought. Come to find out, I bought a bag of left-footed socks. Houston, we have a problem!

This made me think of the Yasso Bar incident.

I’m partial to vanilla chocolate crunch Yasso Greek Yogurt Bars. Crunchie goodness combined with frozen creamy delight tantalize the tastebuds. A while back I noticed we were getting gypped on the crunchy count. I decided to complain.

Gypped:

My complaint read…

Dear Yasso,

“We are fans of Yasso bars, especially the dipped vanilla chocolate crunch. The last three boxes have not been up to your previous standard of crunchiness.” I went on, “We plan to continue purchasing Yasso bars but thought you should know of this inconsistency.”

I received a lovely reply within a couple hours. They sent me coupons to replace the disappointing bars (I endured eating the defective bars). and some additional $1.00 off coupons. That’s why I thought I’d complain to ASICS. Who knows, maybe they’ll send me a bag of running booties marked “R” and double my value!

About this time, it hit me. The “L” was for LARGE.

Take away:

Stay positive. Confirm the problem before fixing it.

Have you ever responded to a problem that didn’t exist?

PS – Yasso bars are great. Some have extra crunchies. And I love my ASICS running socks.

Dig deeper:

How to Reinvent Your Relationship with Problems and Opportunities

Not All Problems are Problems – 5 Real Problems for Leaders

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When You Feel Overwhelmed Do Less Better

Marcus Aurelius was the emperor of Rome from 161 AD to 180 AD, but he’s better known as one of the most important Stoic philosophers. He wrote, “If you feel overwhelmed, do less.” Meditations 4.24

Doing less isn’t about leisure. Too much of anything is dissatisfying, including relaxation. More time off isn’t the answer when you return to the same catastrophe you left behind.

3 questions to ask when you feel overwhelmed:

#1. What is essential?

Is signing papers essential?
Are nagging notifications distracting you from something essential?
What would it mean to simplify your day?
What are you good at? Your talent helps you define essential.

‘Doing less better’ is limiting the number of things you do so you can do other things better.

#2. How can you focus on this play?

Nick Saban, renowned American football coach emphasizes ‘the process’. Part of the process is focusing on the immediate task. Don’t look at the scoreboard. (Here’s a two-minute video of Saban)

One reason you feel overwhelmed is you’re focused on the scoreboard instead of this play. Focus on what is in front of you, the immediate action.

You feel overwhelmed when you focus on many things at once. Do less better.

Care about what you can do instead of what others think, say, or do.

#3. How can you enjoy what you have?

It’s exhausting to constantly pursue more. Bigger houses, nicer clothes, and longer vacations. The more we get, the more we want.

Greed drains joy.

Come back to the present. Perhaps a few deep breaths will help.
Practice gratitude.
Focus on learning.
Appreciate the strengths of the people on your team.

What do you do when you feel overwhelmed?

How can leaders manage their lives so they ‘do less better’?

Still curious:

Fatigue and self-acceptance

3 Surprising Secrets to Self-Management

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Awaken Your Potential Today: 20 Powerful Ways to Make Life Bigger

Potential is an unexplored ocean. But the shore offers many delights.

20 powerful ways to awaken your potential today:

Try new things.
Learn new things.
Connect with a new person.
Stop doing things that have lost meaning or relevance.
Write a description of your best future self (not your best life). Adapt it every day for a week. What sticks with you?
Express gratitude for two things every time you notice yourself complaining. Power move: Express gratitude the same way you complain. When you complain with your voice, give voice to gratitude.
Set an achievable short-term goal.
Adopt an opportunity-perspective when facing obstacles, problems, or challenges. What opportunities do you have today?
Think about things you can do. Don’t fret over things you can’t change.
Visit a foreign country. (OK. It’s likely you can’t do this one today.)
Connect with a mentor or coach.
Visualize how you will achieve a big goal. It’s better to visualize the process than to dream about the win.
Change jobs. (See note on #10)
Make a meaningful commitment that requires energy and resources.
Decide to serve your future self today.
Volunteer at the Red Cross, a food kitchen, the SPCA, church, synagogue, mosque, or….
Intervene when you notice recurring patterns of negative energy.
Build relationships with people who live bigger than you live.
Complete this sentence, “If I could wave a magic wand ________.” Determine what you will do today to move in that direction. (Thanks for this suggestion, Paul.)
Focus on things you do to others rather than things others do to you.

“The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind.” William James

Which of the above suggestions could you use to awaken your potential today?

What might you add to this “awaken your potential” list?

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10 Unexpected Actions That Energize Your Team Today

Life is better for you when you fuel other people’s energy.

Call an unplanned meeting and tell the team why you’re proud of them. (Don’t tell them why you’re calling the meeting.)
Ask everyone to send thank you emails to three people they serve. Ask each person to read one email they sent in your next meeting.
Provide food unexpectedly and for no reason.
Name a person on the team, ask, “What is something you admire about ________?” Repeat this for everyone at the table and for people who aren’t at the table too.
Walk about asking, “What do you plan to do this weekend for fun?”
Brag about your team to the boss’s boss while your team listens.
Clarify progress by asking, “What’s one thing you want to get done before lunch today?”
Ask people to talk about something they learned that made a big difference for them.
Dedicate time for an improvement sprint. Improve one specific skill or result for the morning. Track progress. Report results before lunch. Short timelines are more energizing than distant goals.
Bring in someone to share a breakthrough story. The longer the person struggled before breakthrough the better.

What could you do today to energize others?

Still curious:

How to Honor the Law of Vitality

Quick Strategies to Energize One-On-Ones

6 Ways to Reenergize a Depleted Team (hbr.org)

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Feeling Uncertain – Leadership Freak

Feeling Uncertain

Dead people are certain. The rest of us stumble forward. Values, talent, opportunity, and personal interests provide direction. But the path emerges as you take the next step, not before. One road leads to the next.

We’re novices at living.

I honor feelings of uncertainty. I had a conversation with someone the other day about feeling unsure. She wondered if she was using her time, energy, and resources to the best advantage.

Feeling uncertain keeps you alive.

Uncertain:

It’s healthy to ask, “Should I turn left, or right?” Robert Frost captured the feeling in, “The Road Not Taken.”

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

You have an idea where you want to end up but discover how to get there one step at a time. Even then, you often feel uncertain.

Uncertainty is the companion of everyone who moves forward. The only people who feel certain are standing still.

When you feel uncertain:

#1. Prepare.

I feel uncertain this morning because I’m recording the Audible version of “The Vagrant,” today. It’s a first for me. I’ve been practicing for a couple weeks. Recording myself. Trying new things. Finding my own voice. Preparation helps.

#2. Learn.

Seek advice.
Connect with mentors.
Watch YouTube.

#3. Fail safely.

When possible, test drive new skills on friends, in small venues, or in private.

#4. Seek feedback.

I asked my bride to listen to a recording of me reading. She thought it was wonderful. She shoots straight so that felt good.

My co-author advised me to speak slowly and clearly. When he listened to me, he suggested I speed up.

What do you do when you feel uncertain?

Still curious:

How to be Inexperienced Like a Pro – In a Turbulent World Everyone is a Novice

Two Cures for Novice-Arrogance

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Leadership Development is About One Thing We Often Miss

Everyone I work with is working on the same thing. It’s been that way since the first coaching conversation I had years ago in Dunkin Donuts (Dunkin’s was two words back then).

The lesser part of leadership development is solving problems and learning skills.

Warren Bennis was right when he said, “Leadership is becoming yourself.” Everyone I coach is asking the same question. “How do I write my own story?”

How to write your own story:

I had coffee the other day with a guy in his 70’s. He recently had heart surgery. I thought about what I might ask him. After the usual chit chat, I looked him in the eye and quietly said to my friend, “You’re in the last chapter of your life. How will you evaluate it when it’s over?”

He thanked me for asking.

You’re writing a few lines in your story right now.

#1. Decide what kind of sentences you want to write.

There’s a blank page waiting for you.

#2. Protect the pen.

‘Sister Stress’ shouldn’t be writing your story. ‘Brother Negativity’ shouldn’t dominate your story.

#3. Ask three questions about today’s story:

How are you opening your heart to people? Self-protective barriers drain life of meaning.
What makes you think you’re showing up as your true self? Identity drives authenticity.
What could you do to lower your mask? Masks limit possibility.

#4. Notice distractions:

Developing skills is a distraction when you’re hollow inside.
Happiness is a frivolous pursuit. “Was I happy?” is boring. I’m not saying it’s irrelevant, but it’s not grand enough. Sometimes becoming yourself hurts.
The hardest part of writing your story is ending the chapter you wrote yesterday. The past distracts from the future. An ending is an invitation to begin.

How do you choose to show up in your story today?

Still curious:

Everything You Need to Know About “NOT” Being Yourself

Courage to Become a Leader

Authenticity is at Least Four Things

Authentic Leadership: What It Is, Why It Matters

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Your Expectations Don’t Just Influence Your Destiny, They Determine It

You are influenced by parents, friends, teachers, and society. Some bolster your outlook and encourage you to reach for the sky. Naysayers undermine your future.

Some folks have your best interest at heart. Others want to pour you a cup of gloom and doom.

External influences reinforce your viewpoints and shape your expectations over time.

When you believe the world’s unfair, you’ll be on the lookout for things to go wrong and people to do you harm.

Negative expectations ultimately turn into self-fulfilling prophecies.

Expectations Matter More Than You Think

Expectations have a dramatic impact on behavior and performance. For example:

When you believe people are trustworthy, you’ll invest in long-term relationships rather than thinking everyone’s out to get you.

When you believe hard work pays off, tough days are viewed as opportunities rather than believing the company is taking advantage of you.

When you believe life has its ups and downs, you’ll take bad days in stride rather than thinking you’re the only one with problems.

When you believe the world is your oyster, you pursue it with vigor. When you think people like you don’t stand a chance, you quit before you even start.

Expectations don’t just influence destiny, they determine it.

What do you notice about the power of expectations?

This post is adapted from Leadership by Example: Be a role model who inspires greatness in others by Frank Sonnenberg.

# # #

Frank Sonnenberg is an award-winning author and a well-known advocate for moral character, personal values, and personal responsibility. He has written 10 books and has been named one of “America’s Top 100 Thought Leaders.” Additionally, his blog — FrankSonnenbergOnline — has attracted millions of readers and was recently named one of the “Top Self-Improvement and Personal Development Blogs” in the world and one of the “Best Inspirational Blogs On the Planet.” Frank’s newest book, Leadership by Example: Be a role model who inspires greatness in others.

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7 Reasons to Live – Leadership Freak

7 Reasons to Live

I typed, “Reason to live,” in Google and got a text number for the suicide hotline. Maybe you got up like a zombie, but you need a reason to live.

7 reasons to live:

#1. Stoics choose to live in accordance with their nature and cultivate inner virtue and tranquility.

The Meditations of Marcus Aurelius are still read today. I currently use the Hays translation. “The Daily Stoic,” by Ryan Holiday has over 29,000 positive ratings on Amazon.

#2. Hindus seek moksha, to end the cycle of reincarnation and become one with Brahman.

Hindus practice meditation, silent prayers, yoga, recitation of scriptures from Bhagavad Gita.

#3. Buddhist’s seek to attain enlightenment (nirvana) by eliminating suffering and ending the cycle of reincarnation through the practices of the Noble Eightfold Path.

The popularity of mindfulness reflects the Buddha’s teachings.

#4. Humanists argue that individuals find meaning and purpose by pursuing personal fulfillment, contributing to the well-being of others, and striving for human progress and flourishing.

#5. Existentialists believe individuals create their own purpose in life through their choices and actions.

The meaning of life is to give life meaning.

#6. Nihilists believe a reason to live is an illusion.

Nietzsche loosely fits into Nihilism. But his reason to get up was to prove there was no reason to live.

#7. Christians believe our purpose is to personally receive God’s love and creatively share it with others.

Although Christians often embarrass me and I’m sure I embarrass some of them, #7 is my reason to get up in the morning.

4 questions to ask when choosing a reason to live:

Is it bigger than yourself?
Does it focus outside of yourself?
Does it begin before yourself?
Is it good for all of life?

People have been choosing a reason to live since the beginning of history. What’s yours?

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A New Approach to Hire the Smart People

Stop asking stupid questions if you hope to hire the right people.

Job interview questions that DON’T work:

#1. Questions that begin, “Tell me about a time…”

The past doesn’t predict the future as much as it used to. There was a time when the past was like the present, but not today. What worked in the past worked in the past.

#2. Anticipated questions.

Make a list of 25 common interview questions. Don’t ask any of them. Good candidates are prepared to answer common questions.

Ask common questions to expose liars. For example, “Tell us about your weaknesses.” Anyone who responds, “I work too hard,” is a liar. People who work too hard don’t think it’s a weakness.

Job interview questions to hire smart people:

#1. Ask questions that reflect current situations.

Solve nagging issues within your organization by asking candidates how to solve them.

What’s the best way to handle flexible scheduling?
How would you create creative dissent on a team of bobble heads?
How soon would you intervene when you notice interpersonal conflict on the team?
Tell us three ways you’ll make work fun during your first week on the job.

#2. Ask questions that reflect your leadership philosophies.

List the names of five direct reports. Tell us the top three strengths of each. How do you work to maximize their strengths? (Strength-based leadership)
What’s your personal development plan for the next three months? (Growth and development)
What’s your 90-day plan for leading your team here? How will you involve the team in making a 90-day plan that meets this organization’s needs? (Collaborative leadership)

#3. Talk while you’re moving.

Movement lowers barriers.

Go for a walk.
Go to the grocery store to pick up a jar of pickles.
Play golf, especially if they don’t play.

What questions help leaders hire the right people?

What questions might result in a bad hire?

Still curious:

A Job Interview Question that Predicts How Someone Will Lead

The Best Leaders Ask Questions That Work

100 Interview Questions (monster.com)

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