Five Leadership Freak Articles People Loved to Read in 2021

Five Leadership Freak Articles People Loved to Read in 2021

Image of 2021 with the moon as the zero.

I’m frequently surprised by the articles I post that get the most readers.

A post is probably crap when I think it’s brilliant.

The posts I bang out quickly often invite the most interest.

You might expect the top performing posts would have been written in the first of the year because they have more time to gather viewership. The top five posts of 2021 were all written in the last half of the year.

Top five posts of 2021:

#5. FOUR WAYS MANAGERS SCREWUP ONE-ON-ONES – 11/4

Image of people frolicking.

A simple thing that’s made complex disappoints and drains.

  1. Leave them to the last minute.
  2. Focus exclusively on the work.
  3. Hog the time.

Click here to learn how to have productive one-on-ones.

#4. ANTICIPATION AS LEADERSHIP ADVANTAGE – 8/4

Anticipate the future by observing patterns from the past.

  1. Recurring topics of conversation?
  2. Repeated frustrations?
  3. Nagging fears? Fear invites foresight.

The way to maximize the present is to anticipate the future.

Read more here.

#3. SHOW ME YOUR FRIENDS AND I’LL SHOW YOU YOUR FUTURE – 8/13

Image of a group of happy people.

  1. Achievers nudge you toward urgent action.
  2. Wooers remind you to build relationships.
  3. Commanders teach you to make decisions.

Read more here.

#2. HOW TO BE THE LEADER PEOPLE LOVE TO SEE – 7/6

According to Gallup, spending time with their manager is the worst part of the day for employees.

People love to see leaders who love people.

Read more here.

#1. TWELVE THINGS SMART LEADERS DON’T SAY – 9/30

Image of a wilting sunflower.

  1. I should have. Instead of shoulding-yourself, say, “Next time.”
  2. Failure is not an option. People set low goals when failure is not an option.
  3. I didn’t mean to. This is a sleezy way of not taking responsibility.

Read more here.

Happy New Year!



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Nailing It: How Young People Got It Together

Nailing It: How Young People Got It Together

“I am a part of everything that I have read.” Theodore Roosevelt

I read the biography of George Washington Carver when I was in High School. He’s been with me ever since. Recently, I finished, “Becoming Dr. Suess.”

People change people.

You experience the influence of Einstein, Mozart, Helen Keller, or Maya Angelou, in the stories of their lives.

Rene Descartes said, “The reading of all good books is like a conversation with the finest minds of past centuries.”

Image of a small island with two trees. You become like the people you admire.

Admiration:

Respect the power of admiration.

Admiration is magnetic.

You are made better when you respect honorable qualities in others. The people we admire teach us what to desire.

You become like the people you admire.

Robert Dilenschneider wrote a collection of biographical vignettes that busy people have time to read. The stories in Nailing It will give you people to admire.

Two takeaways from Nailing It:

Determination.

After reading Nailing It you will admire the determination of young people who changed the world.

Everyone who has made a difference in the world has overcome adversity. Think of Helen Keller, for example. (Her story is in “Nailing It.”)

Why do people lack determination?

You need a reason to be determined.

Dilenschneider said, “Being determined requires an emphasis.”

Nietzsche put it this way, “He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.”

When you have a reason, “Adversity is an energy releasing experience.” Dilenschneider

Frailty:

The frailty of people who changed the world is an encouragement. You may feel that you’re too disappointing to make a difference in the world.

Mozart was physically frail and died at 35. Helen Keller was blind and deaf. Coco Chanel was a lady of the evening.

The frailties of people who overcome adversity is permission for you to make a difference.

Point of reflection: How are you becoming like the people you admire?

Purchase “Nailing It: How History’s Awesome Twentysomethings Got It Together.”



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How to Be Kinder to Yourself and Others

How to Be Kinder to Yourself and Others

You don’t screw-up where I grew up. You dub-up. If you’ve never heard ‘dub-up’, you’re didn’t grow up in Central Maine. You’re from away. I’m here to help.

Image or peeling paint. Harsh is corrosive.

Illustration:

I dubbed-up yesterday.

Sometimes I write Monday’s post on Sunday afternoon. I schedule it for 6:31 a.m. Yesterday I dubbed-up the date and time. It went out Sunday at 6:31 p.m. (I don’t have a rational explanation for 6:31.)

Dubbing-up is kinder than screwing up. Friends dub-up. Strangers and idiots are screw-ups. When a friend backs the hay wagon into the side of the car, he’s a dubbah. If you can’t speak Mainiac, you say dubber. But the hard ‘err’ at the end feels harsh.

Explanation:

Somewhere in the mysterious past, folks from Maine rejected the ability to pronounce an ‘er’ sound at the end of words. We can pronounce ‘er’ just fine. It’s not a speech defect. It’s intentional.

If you’ve ever said ‘ahh’ for the doctor, you can learn to speak Mainiac. Maine folk say mothah. People from away say mother.

Mothah pahked the cah in the yahd. Translation. Mother parked the car in the yard. Understanding this means you’re smaht.

I tried to teach the grandchildren how to speak Mainiac during vacation in Maine. But they weren’t motivated. I suppose it’s not as melodious as an Irish brogue.

Are Mainiacs ashamed? I flaunt my ability to not pronounce Rs at the end of words. You might think it’s nothing to flaunt. But that’s all the more reason to do it, if you’re a true Mainiac.

Lesson:

You probably aren’t getting the point. I’ll spell it out. It’s more fun to be a dubbah than a loser. Don’t be so harsh. Be a dub-up, not a screw-up.

High expectations don’t have to be harsh.

Tip: Maybe if you don’t point out your dub-ups, people will think you’re smaht.

How might leaders have high expectations without being harsh?



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Buzzwords Smart People Won’t Say in 2022

Buzzwords Smart People Won’t Say in 2022

Image of an old typewriter. Worn-out expression: Think outside the box. Anyone who says,

When I grew up we said cool things like:

  1. Far Out: This is a souped-up version of cool.
  2. Boogie: Dancing.
  3. Right on: I agree.
  4. Dig, dig it, or can you dig it: I understand or do you understand.
  5. Groovy: Another word for cool only more cooler.
  6. Out of sight. Beyond cool, groovy, or far out.
  7. Psyche: I was joking. This is a serious post. Psyche!

Buzzwords smart people won’t say in 2022:

  1. New normal. (No comment.)
  2. Synergy. If you plan to work together say, “We’re working together.”
  3. Circle back. The translation of, “Let’s circle back on this,” is, I don’t want to talk about this, and I don’t plan to.
  4. Take this offline. Give me a break. We do everything online. The only thing you do offline is go to the restroom. Oops, I take it back. I bet you take your phone to the restroom. You’re never offline.
  5. Pivot. How important do we have to sound? The word is change or adjust. The only place to pivot is in a horror movie.
  6. Unprecedented. Nothing is unprecedented. Compared to the Spanish Flu, Covid is precedented.
  7. Think outside the box. Anyone who says, “Think outside the box,” isn’t groovy.
  8. Bandwidth. I don’t have enough bandwidth. You’d have more bandwidth if you stopped using stupid words.
  9. Deep Dive. I’ve used several of the expressions on this list. Thankfully, I haven’t stooped so low as to take a Deep Dive into ridiculous buzzwords.
  10. Thought leader. This one is a cousin to influencer. I’ve been asked if I’m a thought leader. I don’t know, I’ve never thought of referring to myself as a thought leader.

What’s the most annoying buzzword that should be retired in 2022?



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A Surprising Thing You Can Do for Yourself

A Surprising Thing You Can Do for Yourself

Self-centered people are anxious and unhappy.

Research shows one source of self-centeredness is loneliness. A lonely person turns inward. Feeling isolated motivates people to focus on their own self-interest. What’s worse? Lonely people have higher risks of physical and mental health problems.

The title of this post isn’t an encouragement for self-centeredness.

Image of a cat laying on its back sleeping. The purpose of self-care is restoring your ability to care for others.

Self-care:

When self-care is an excuse for self-centeredness, it’s destructive.

Self-care is more than a day at the spa or a quiet walk.

You take care of yourself when you care for others. When you pour-out for others, even in small ways, you pour a little into yourself as well.

Pouring out is pouring in.

When done appropriately, generosity is good for you. Of course, there’s a limit. You burn-out when you consistently pour into takers. (Read, “Give and Take,” by Adam Grant.)

You need good books, quiet walks, or a Sabbath to rejuvenate. You may also need to learn to receive. (Read, “The Go-Giver,” by Bob Burg and John David Mann.)

The purpose of self-care is restoring your ability to care for others.

A surprising reminder:

Yesterday, while running an errand, I took a wrong turn. I get lost in thought when I drive. I ended up a few miles out of my way. By accident I drove past ‘our’ garage. Don services our vehicles.

On a whim I stopped. Don’s head was in a car when I walked in. As he turned, I reached out and said, “I just wanted to stop and say thank you for the good service you provide.”

We exchanged pleasantries. I hopped back in my truck.

My visit to Hudson’s Garage cost me three minutes. But I noticed something when I drove away.

I felt happy. It reminded me of Martin Seligman’s book, Learned Optimism. Gratitude increases your happiness.

What can you do for yourself?



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Dear Dan: I Feel Burn-Out Because Administration Promotes Unqualified People

Dear Dan: I Feel Burn-Out Because Administration Promotes Unqualified People

Dear Dan,

First, I really enjoy your leadership tweets.

Second, I’m currently at a job, where the administration seems to be promoting ‘yes men’ and not qualified people to supervisors. Not leaders.

This has caused me to become somewhat burnt out in a career that I love. That being said, as a person striving to grow as a leader, how does one follow someone who is not a leader, when following is required?

I’ve struggled to wrap my mind around this. Thought I’d reach out and hopefully get your thoughts.

Thanks,

Frustrated and Burnt Out

Image of a bright yellow box surrounded by dark boxes. If you are a positive person in a lousy environment, you are a person worth following.

Dear Frustrated,

Thank you for the good word. It feels good to contribute through the work of our hands.

You are wise to strive for growth as a leader. Self-development multiplies contribution. Think of it as unselfish selfishness.

You may be in a perfect place to grow.

In a disappointing world, it’s easy to justify self-defeating behaviors. We reason, if ‘they’ are going to be idiots, I’ll do a lousy job to spite them.

Only a fool justifies self-defeating behaviors. (We all play the fool from time to time.)

Personal development is essential to fulfilling your purpose in the world. Richard Lieder summarizes our purpose in two words, GROW and GIVE.

A person who neglects their own development can’t fulfill their purpose in this world.

Growth opportunities:

Lousy leaders present growth opportunities. What skills and character traits are important in your environment?

#1. Diplomacy.

If weak leaders wear you out, I suspect you’re good at speaking your mind. If that’s true, learning how to influence without antagonizing will expand your ability to contribute.

Develop the skill of presenting alternatives tactfully and creatively.

Learn to stand your ground with kindness.

#2. Positivity.

You’re probably tired of trying to see the good side. Redouble your efforts. Negativity doesn’t serve you.

Perhaps you feel passed over. Practice gratitude, even if you don’t feel grateful. Emotion follows action. Conduct produces feelings.

If you are a positive person in a lousy environment, you are a person worth following.

#3. Creativity.

I bet you don’t mind rocking the boat. No one likes a boat-rocker when the goal is going with the flow.

Explore creative ways to make improvements. It will take patience for you to do this. Patience will serve you well as you develop your leadership.

#4. Influence.

“Leadership is influence.” John Maxwell

When we’re frustrated, we’d like to kick people in the pants. There is a place in leadership for getting in people’s faces, but successful influence requires more tact than force.

Define your role as influencer, not controller.

#5. Energy management.

You’re never at your best when you feel burned-out. Frustration drains your energy. Don’t rely on others…

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Shaping Influences Make You

Shaping Influences Make You

Everything you will become began with others.

Your parents are the first shaping influence in your life. Many others followed. Teachers, friends, coaches, mentors, bosses, co-workers, even brief interactions with strangers contribute to who you are becoming.

Image of a potter's hands. Everything you will become began with others.

Shaping influences:

#1. You are who you are in relation to others.

John Donne wrote:

“No man is an island entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main;”

#2. You are who you are because of your response to others.

Responses to wrongs and offenses shape you. Forgiveness enlarges you. Resentment diminishes you.

Even the people you don’t like shape you.

Your response to praise tests you. Taken poorly, praise grows into the illusion of self-sufficiency. You begin thinking, “I’m ‘all that.’”

Your response to challenge strengthens or weakens you. Turn from challenge and you grow a little weaker. Habitually turn from challenge and apathy sets in.

Responses shape you.

#3. You are who you are because others saw something in you.

There was a time in your life when the confidence of another set you free. They helped you dare.

Confidence is connected to the crowd that stands with you.

#4. You are who you are because someone corrected you.

The lens you use to see yourself is foggy and distorted. Perhaps you magnify your self-importance, or you dimmish yourself.

If you’re fortunate, someone cleaned your lens and helped you see yourself more clearly. They brought up self-defeating behaviors or confronted inconsistencies.

You need others to see yourself.

Made rich:

I’m reflecting on the people who make me rich. Some are local and long-term friends. Others I’ve never met in person. One is my high school sweetheart.

Becoming your best self is done in connection, not isolation.

How have others shaped you?

How might you contribute to the shaping of others?



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How to Defeat a Small Grinchy Heart – Four Things Big Hearted Leaders Learn

How to Defeat a Small Grinchy Heart – Four Things Big Hearted Leaders Learn

“And what happened, then? Well, in Whoville they say – that the Grinch’s small heart grew three sizes that day.” Dr. Seuss

It wasn’t that the Grinch wanted to experience joy. He just wanted others to be miserable.

Life gives good reasons to live with a small grinchy heart.

Image of a smiling rain cloud. A warning sign of small heartedness is nothing bothers you.

Reasons hearts shrivel:

Hurtful experiences are justifications to wall-in your heart. You want to protect yourself from pain. It’s logical to run from pain but rejecting an inevitability of life makes your heart small.

A warning sign of small heartedness is nothing bothers you.

Pretending everything is OK when there’s pain in your heart has a shrinking effect on life. You don’t have to wear your feelings on your sleeve. But everyone needs to feel seen and understood.

It makes sense to protect yourself, but self-protective people have small grinchy hearts.

Four things big hearted leaders learn:

  1. The more you need to get done, the more you need to care for people. Pressure to get things done makes some leaders forget the power of caring for people.
  2. At the end of the day, the truest question is, “How much did you care for the people?”
  3. Caring for people is the secret ingredient of engagement. People are more likely to engage if they know you care.
  4. The heart of leadership is turning your focus toward the welfare of others.

A big heart:

#1. Grows through painful experiences.

You can always spot a person who has suffered well. They have a tender heart. When we accept our own pain, we learn empathy.

#2. Enjoys people.

Allow enjoyment to defeat misery. You can’t help but see the need for improvement in everything. Everything can always be better.

Big hearted leaders don’t let the need for improvement block the joys of imperfect attainment.

What does a small grinchy heart look like to you?

How might leaders grow big hearts?



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Four Ways to Succeed with the Stinky Part of Work

Four Ways to Succeed with the Stinky Part of Work

If you dislike 30% of your job, look for another job. You can dislike 20% of your job and still enjoy work. (Informal surveys of managers.)

If you like 80% of your job, be completely happy at work.

Image of a dirty pig. Don't wallow in the stink.

Four ways to succeed with the stinky part of work:

#1. Expand purpose.

Consider how doing something you don’t like connects to bigger purpose. You come to work when you want to stay home to put food on the table. The bigger purpose is providing for family.

#2. Explore personal growth.

Consider how doing work you don’t like expands your capacity to serve.

You probably don’t like conflict. How might conflict resolution skills prepare you for advancement?

#3. Embrace team spirit.

Do it for the team. How might you contribute to the success of the team? But don’t become a martyr.

Avoid being the person who always sacrifices for the welfare of others.

#4. Just get it done.

Don’t wallow in the stink. Check off the stinky work so you can focus on the work you love.

Four ways leaders create less stinky work environments:

  1. Don’t brag about working all the time. Our ability to do productive work is enhanced when we consistently recharge.
  2. Eliminate insignificant work. Set priorities. Tell people what matters.
  3. Show respect and appreciation. It’s not enough to know our work matters. We need to know that the boss knows our work matters.
  4. Give people control of how work gets done. When possible, allow people to choose the time and location of their work.

Bonus: Eliminate jerk-holes. One bad apple lowers team performance up to 40%.

Notice:

Positive work environments are built by leaders who notice. What are you noticing? What do you need to notice to build an energizing work environment?

What suggestions do you have for succeeding with the stinky part of work?



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