Category: Leadership

4 Ways to Set Team Norms

How do you enforce team norms lightly when you have a disruptive member?

Dear Dan,

When you have a disruptive team member with emotional outbursts that is limiting the team’s effectiveness, enforcing lightly just doesn’t seem to change the behavior. How do you maintain expectations when stepping outside of those behavioral boundaries only gets a light “slap on the wrist”?

Sincerely,

Lyna

When it comes to team norms, don’t play the role of Moses.

Dear Lyna,

Dealing with disruptors is challenging. If you aren’t skilled with tough issues, matters get worse. I suggest you begin by sharing the burden.

4 ways to set team norms and enforce them:

#1. Teams set team norms:

It feels like you feel alone. Don’t get me wrong, some responsibilities aren’t meant to be shared.

Team norms should be set by the team. Don’t play the role of Moses carrying the 10 commandments.

Google studied over 100 high performing teams.

“… the only pattern they found was that high performing teams had norms that guided how team members treated each other. Interestingly, there were no patterns among the norms, either. What worked for one team was the exact opposite of what worked for another team.” (Team Emotional Intelligence 2.0*)

How to establish team norms:

1. Brainstorm ideas for team norms with the team.
2. Ask team members to search the Internet and come with their favorite ideas.
3. Delegate the task to a few team members. Discuss and vote.

High performing teams set their own norms.

#2. Evaluate and revise:

You won’t get your norms right the first time. Aspirational norms might be too high. If you haven’t started a meeting on time for years, setting a norm to start on time won’t work. Try something else.

When new team members join, refresh your norms*.

#3. Enforce norms lightly.

Choose to enforce team norms lightly. Give examples.

Suppose not interrupting is a team norm. When someone interrupts, interrupt them and ask, “Hey Mary, does not interrupting still work for you*?” Smile when you do it.

#4. Confront abusive violators in private.

You wouldn’t publicly bring up employee discipline. If the team confirms a norm and one team member persistently violates that norm, discuss it in private. Treat it the same as any other discipline matter.

Most team members won’t give each other corrective feedback. it’s too awkward.

What suggestions do you have for Lyna?

…

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7 Lessons from the Naïve Leader

One day a naïve leader decided to explore the desert. He was smart enough to know he needed water and clothing for protection from the sun. But he didn’t understand all the dangers in the desert.

At the edge of the desert, he was surprised to meet a poisonous snake. But he was excited and didn’t know the snake was deadly.

The snake, with sly reserve, asked, “Where are you going my friend?”

“I’m off to explore the desert,” replied the naïve leader.

“Oh my,” the snake said with mock concern. “Do you know poisonous snakes live in the desert?”

The naïve leader gasped, “I have never seen a poisonous snake. What do they look like?”

The sly snake said, “Look for an animal with four legs, a bushy tail and two black beady eyes. They pretend to be friendly and helpful, but they’re deadly.”

The surprise:

He thanked the sly snake and turned with confidence toward his adventure. But when he turned, the sly snake bit him on his hind end and he died.

7 lessons from the naïve leader who died:

1. What you don’t know can bite you in the butt.
2. A naïve leader feels excitement when caution is needed.
3. Inexperience doesn’t know what it doesn’t know.
4. Seek advice from several sources.
5. The person who seems to help might be waiting for you to turn your back.
6. Passion adds danger to naiveté.
7. You are never fully prepared for a journey you haven’t taken before. Life is that journey.

What lessons do you see in the story of?

Still curious: The Naive Leader – What Makes You One and How To Avoid It.

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6 Ways to Make Leadership Meaningful

Dedicated leaders tend to lose themselves to work. They end up frustrated, drained, and burned out.

Take the helm of your leadership journey. Don’t let others drive your life.

Life is too precious to squander it on things that don’t matter to you.

#1. Align definitions:

Define how you make leadership meaningful for yourself. When your definition of meaningful leadership collides with your boss’s definition:

1. Discuss and explore options.
2. Redefine ‘meaningful leadership’.
3. Find a job that brings fulfillment.

#2. Include how:

The deliverables of your job aren’t negotiable:

1. Reach the numbers.
2. Communicate vision.
3. Recognize achievement.
4. Provide feedback.
5. Challenge apathy.
6. Expose elephants.
7. Move the agenda forward.

You make leadership meaningful when you control how you do your job.

#3. 6 ways to make leadership meaningful:

1. Create growth opportunities. How will you deliver results and grow at the same time?
2. Shift from commander to coach. How will you help others grow and achieve results?
3. Open your door and your heart. How will you create and strengthen relationship?
4. Clarify purpose. How will you bring your story to work?
5. Maximize strengths. How will you spend most of your time doing what you do best?
6. Express values. Work you don’t value leaves you drained. How will you clarify your values?

Added resource: It’s the Manager

#4. Results when you make leadership meaningful:

You know you’re doing something meaningful when:

1. You want to do it again.
2. The joy of improving outweighs dissatisfaction.
3. People are drawn to you.
4. Feeling tired at the end of the day is fulfilling. You’re glad you did what you did.
5. People find focus when you show up. Meaningful leadership energizes you and others to do the ‘right’ things.

You’re engaged in meaningful leadership when life is more about get-to than have-to.

Meaningful leadership brings satisfaction – even when it’s difficult – to you and value to others.

How might leaders make leadership meaningful?

What drains leadership of meaning?

The Simplest Way to Have a Meaningful Day

3 Things that Make a MEANINGFUL Vision

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5 Awesome Ways to Energize Your Day

One of the five factors of well-being is energy to get things done.

You die a slow death when you don’t energize your day. Vacation might help but those who neglect their energy insult their potential.

You are responsible for your energy.

Problems seem smaller, people seem less irritating, and the future looks brighter when you feel energized.

Arrogance and fatigue:

Arrogance believes it’s above the rules. The cycle of depletion and renewal cannot be ignored. The unalterable law of energy cannot be violated.

The person who neglects their energy dissolves resolve and dilutes opportunity.

5 ways to energize your day:

#1. Shift your thinking about challenges.

Nagging problems never end.

1. Avoid setting random deadlines.
2. Determine what progress looks like today.
3. Adapt to changing situations. Failing to reach an irrelevant goal is success.
4. Choose what matters to you.

#2. Establish a routine.

Predictability strengthens focus. Develop morning and evening routines.

#3. Break a routine.

You’re stuck when you don’t alter routines.

#4. Finish everything on your to-do list.

A thousand to-dos drain you. Finish stuff.

“The key to getting through challenges is to not worry about tomorrow but to win today.” John Gordon

Create a to-do list you can complete today.

#5. Reject frivolous optimism.

Life isn’t Disneyland and leadership isn’t a walk in the park. Some days you’ll wonder if it’s worth it.

Many things that suck the life out of you aren’t worth it.

Expectations that drain you:

1. Things should be easier. Things that matter are usually harder than you think.
2. Happiness and fulfillment aren’t the same thing. You can be sad and fulfilled at the same time.
3. People should appreciate you. People don’t appreciate how much work it takes to excel at any meaningful activity.

Personal energy is more important than skill, talent, or resources.

What simple daily practice might energize your day?

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24 Ways to Challenge People Without being a Jerk-Hole

Performance is about rigorous standards, high expectations, clear goals, and providing support.

Challenge people and be tenderhearted.

“The best leaders are toughminded on standards and tenderhearted with people.” Doug Conant

24 ways to challenge people without being a jerk-hole:

1. Like people. Leaders who dislike people become self-affirming jerk-holes.
2. Build on progress. Don’t nitpick success. Challenge people to press forward.
3. Notice strengths and encourage growth. Challenge people by committing to growth and development. Be supportive by noticing strengths.
4. Respect contribution and set high standards. Don’t tolerate drifting. Say, “You have more in you.”
5. Build momentum by honoring wins, not complaining. Chronic complainers drain people.
6. Fight-for more than you fight-against.
7. Listen attentively. Judge slowly.
8. Inquire about meaningful issues. Get beyond the weather. Explore dreams and aspirations.
9. Correct optimistically. Challenge people to challenge themselves.
10. Set high standards and pull-with.
11. Brag about others. Bragging is good when it’s about others.
12. Receive help. People love to be helpful as long as it’s appreciated.
13. Forget about small irritations.
14. Don’t make excuses for yourself or others.
15. Practice self-love and challenge yourself. Self-love gone bad is self-indulgent and hypocritical.
16. Exude quiet confidence. Don’t put yourself down. Centeredness makes you inspirational.
17. Tell the truth with kindness. Don’t dance around issues.
18. Remember names.
19. Notice when people light up. People learn about themselves when you say, “Your eyes just lit up. What’s going on for you?”
20. Seek the best interest of others.
21. Don’t speak with defensiveness.
22. Laugh. Humor is attractive and contagious. Laugh at yourself. Laugh with others.
23. Teach your face to express your heart. It takes more muscles to frown but it’s usually easier than smiling.
24. Open the blinds. Let yourself be seen, warts and all as long as you’re committed to improve. Share a little about yourself. Engage in friendly banter.

Which of the above practices could you implement today?

What would you add to the above list?

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